


a soul deep surrender

by baileyrhapsody, costia_gray



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alpha Kara Danvers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Memory Alteration, Omega Alex Danvers, Supercorp Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-01-15 22:53:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21260960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baileyrhapsody/pseuds/baileyrhapsody, https://archiveofourown.org/users/costia_gray/pseuds/costia_gray
Summary: As Kara copes with Alex's choice to forget her, Alex spends her time trying to figure out why National City's local superhero won't leave her alone.(Set post 4x10.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **costia_gray:** Always a party writing with my buddy! ❤️ This one was all her idea, I just helped, so make sure to give her proper accolades. Hope everyone likes!
> 
> **baileyrhapsody:** hey hey, Bailey here. Shout out to the homie for writing this with me, give her accolades for her writing prowess and for being a beast at editing. 🏃♥️

Kara thinks it more a betrayal than not. 

The thought teases the perimeters of her mind, skirts the edges until she’s dizzy with it. A sour curl to her insides. The caustic ache in her heart is a constant; residing just off-center, smothered enough that sometimes she forgets it’s there. Abandonment has a subtle sting to it. The taste is familiar. A bitter slick along her tongue. Kara’s existence is in a state of flux. She spends the majority of it reflecting now. It’s more of a chore than anything — the secret identity thing. A managing of two lives, a line split down the middle, pulling both ends apart. 

Having to hide has never felt much like hiding until now. 

**X**

Liberty Rising. 

Sycophants of Lockwood at it again. Alex arrives on the scene of a crime too late, notes the carnage that surrounds her with a muted expression, though her insides rage with distaste. Alex is vigilant in the way she wears her opinions, ever conscious of the hym that resides on her shoulders. A critique of her every action. She's the director of nothing. A marionette puppet residing on a string. 

She taps on a data pad absently as her team cleans up the mess around them. A gift from the Children of Liberty. Ill-suited attempts to ‘help’. She sighs as she lifts her free hand to scratch at her temple. Since when did it become so complicated? Bag and Tag alien threats, protect the city from dangerous extraterrestrial life forms. _ That’s _ what she signed up for. Not sweeping massacres made by man under the rug. 

Political agendas shade every well-meaning intention. 

Alex hands the pad back over to her field agent and sets her palms on her hip, silently observing the clean up with a keen eye. Her gaze drifts to the street where the masses mill about, whispering to one another as they take pictures of the scene. It’s then she spots Supergirl behind the riot fence, speaking to local PD. Supergirl stands tall, striking a similar pose to Alex’s own. 

Supergirl is an oddity. 

Not just the title itself, but the person, the _ alien, _behind it. The history behind her is muddied, flaked in clay and smears of gray, vague in a way that makes Alex uncomfortable. That ache to categorize and place in neat little boxes crippled by an ignorance that refuses to be sated. 

Supergirl supposedly landed here in a pod and then… Then what? Silence. For an unspecified amount of years even though her cousin, _ Superman_, was out saving lives, making himself into a symbol. His name and the ideology behind it which had unwittingly transferred over to _ Supergirl _ as soon as she took to the sky donning the same insignia as him. 

No, not completely the same, perhaps, but similar enough. 

There’s a vast history that shrouds their existence. They are Power Overwhelming, Atlas in spirit, those who hold the world at large by their fingertips. They are icons to be revered in most cases, feared in others. Mindful of, always. 

Alex doesn’t have to wonder what Supergirl thinks of all the attacks. Alien sentiments are hidden in plain sight. 

Supergirl nods one last time at the officer before she looks over to catch Alex’s gaze, her frame freezing like she’s caught. There’s a vague hint of elation that enters stark blues that quickly gives way to confusion and hurt before a resigned smile plays on her lips. Supergirl straightens then, nods once in way of greeting before turning and shooting up into the sky. 

Alex watches her leave with a furrowed brow, curiosity teeming beneath the surface. She blinks, shaking her head to clear the wandering thoughts.

Perhaps it's best not to dwell…

**X**

…but the problem is that _ not dwelling _ has never really been Alex’s strong suit.

She tries not to worry. God knows she has other things to think about than a mysterious hero lurking in the shadows around her.

But does she really? She’s second-in-command again, but with even less responsibility. Haley doesn’t trust her, not really. Alex feels like a child whose toys were taken away, wasting away from boredom.

So, she dwells. Single-mindedly. If she truly had the power her position was meant to grant her, it might've been to her detriment. As it is, the thinking keeps her mind occupied during her idle time. Far too much of that, lately.

Her memories of Supergirl are vague, out of sorts. She remembers working with her. Remembers trusting her. Remembers spikes of fear when the hero’s taken hits for her.

A lot of that, particularly. Odd given she’s a nearly indestructible alien. Why should she be afraid for her? Afraid _ of _ her, maybe.

But no. She’s not that either.

Supergirl is a puzzle, and Alex could never stand to leave a puzzle unsolved.

After that first incident, she starts to see Supergirl more often. She tries to keep track of the number of times she spots the alien nearby, but she loses count quickly.

Every mission, every crime scene, Supergirl appears off to the side. Never speaks, never approaches — hard to miss in those bright primary colors, though. She stays on the outskirts of the perimeter, watching, face marred with worry.

It makes Alex think of Kara.

She shoves that thought to the back of her mind as quickly as it comes. Kara is…

Well, that’s a completely different issue. She’s spent enough time dwelling on that, come to her conclusions.

She’d rather focus on Supergirl.

Eventually, Alex starts _ trying _to catch the hero’s eye. Subtly. It’s like a game, challenging and weirdly thrilling. Addictive.

It works a few times. Alex feels accomplished when it does, when she sees that same flicker of emotions race across Supergirl’s face, even from afar. And every time, after that little smile touches her lips, she takes off into the sky. Like she can’t bear to stay another second.

Alex tries to work out why that starts to bother her. It shouldn’t. She and Supergirl are acquaintances at best. Yes, they used to work together, but they don't anymore. And they don’t know each other, not really.

She shouldn’t feel offended or slighted. It’s not personal.

One day, she decides to ask around a bit, poke at her subordinates. The Supergirl puzzle still remains unsolved and it’s driving her a little insane. She finds all of her unit leaders and asks them if they ever run into Supergirl on the job.

_ Sure, _ they say. _ Yeah, sometimes. If it’s something big, maybe. Not really, though. Not since the President dismissed her. _

It’s personal, then. It has to be, Alex decides. So, she’s going to do something about it. Once and for all, she’s going to get some kind of answer.

The next time she spots Supergirl, she’s lingering off to the side watching with wary eyes as Alex cuffs another rogue they’ve stopped from wreaking havoc. She hands him over to two subordinates to load into the van and changes direction, strides long and purposeful.

She watches Supergirl’s gaze cast over her, that same strange happiness plain in her eyes before she realizes Alex is coming toward her. Her eyes widen, and Alex knows she’s a second away from flying off, but she stops her just in time.

Her hand clamps down around Supergirl’s forearm. Intellectually, she knows her touch means literally nothing to the alien. She can flick Alex off her like any ordinary human would flick a mosquito off their arm. But she stays, stock still, watches Alex trepidatiously.

And Alex is at a loss for words. She’s spent hours upon hours planning this — just this. Just stopping her from leaving because, for some ridiculous reason, it _ hurts_. But she can’t _ say that_.

“Al—Director Danvers?” Now Supergirl looks concerned again, and she softens; Alex can feel the muscles loosen beneath her hand. “Are you— Is everything alright?”

Alex presses her lips together, studies the hero for a few long moments.

“Why are you always here?” she asks at last. No malice to her words, no agitation. She just doesn’t understand.

Supergirl looks a little taken aback and silence settles thick and heavy between them. Briefly, Alex wonders if she hadn’t realized Alex notices her. Maybe she thought she had been more subtle.

Stupid. But possible.

“Because…” Supergirl pauses, swallows audibly. “I _ care_.”

Alex’s brow furrows. She pulls her hand away and takes a step back. She doesn’t know what to make of that or how to begin to respond.

Supergirl cares. About her?

_ Why? _

Supergirl looks hurt for a very brief moment before she smiles. The same smile Alex has seen near constantly, lately. Small, tired, resigned. Like she’s giving up.

And then she’s gone.

The sudden departure shakes Alex loose of her stupor. She blinks a few times, eyes darting around and then up, _ searching_. A futile attempt. Frustration wells up inside of her as her fingers curl inward, a subtle quiver to her fists. 

Once again, denied the truth she’s circling. 

**X**

Supergirl is a bit more mindful after that.

She appears as a blur from the corner of her eye, the tail ends of a blood-red cape flowing around a corner, an indistinct speck on a rooftop. 

Alex grows further incensed at each vague spotting. She doesn’t do well with juvenile attempts at avoidance. A byproduct of a youth spent with a sibling who refused to let her hide. Alex bites her lip, staring vacantly down at her clipboard in the middle of the hallway to her office, the last area she can find solace in a place she used to call her own. A mix of memories sluggishly churns through her mind as she stands unseeing. 

The thought of Kara never failed to still her in her tracks. 

Things between them have been a bit... _ off _ the last few weeks. Kara has taken to showing up at her apartment at random times, a wry smile playing on full lips. A distant glint to blue eyes. Absent of the typical perpetual cheer. Kara might as well have been the entrance to Fort Rozz. Unbroken. Her efforts fall to nil. Kara refuses to tell her what is wrong. 

She’s tethering towards the edge of a spiral. Professional and personal lives caught in a deadlock. She’s not so mad at Supergirl as she is at herself. Nothing makes sense anymore. 

Alex feels as if she’s missing. 

**X**

Perhaps it’s one brush off too many that puts her to this point. She gets the call to another crime scene. Another sister night canceled. As she approaches the trails of gore, her gaze veers off to the side. A glimpse of blonde flickers across her sight. She grits her teeth. 

“Reports of stalking tends to diminish a superhero’s stock, Supergirl.” 

It’s said in a harsh whisper. She does well not to alert the techs and agents around her. Alex scowls at the lack of response. She knows Supergirl heard her. “I’d rather you didn’t creep from a distance.”

“I’m _ not _ stalking you.” Alex jumps a little, the voice coming in beside her. She’s quick to turn and finds Supergirl frowning down at her. Her heart jackrabbits in her chest at the swift arrival. She hadn’t thought Supergirl would rile so easily. A smirk teases the ends of her lips. 

“You say that yet I see you all the time," she pauses, gaze speculative. “I could give you some tips on subterfuge.” Alex crosses her arms, brow raised in taunting. “I am a trained agent, you know.”

A bemused expression crosses Supergirl’s face at that. “Are you now?” she asks, a delicate incline to her head. Supergirl chuckles faintly, palms resting casually on her hips. “I had no idea,” she hums as she peers impassively at the half a dozen DEO agents milling about, several black vans parked precariously on the grass, the yellow crime scene tape that stands out in the green landscape. Supergirl returns her gaze to Alex with a crooked smile. “Mm, yes, you lot do tend to operate discreetly.”

There’s a dryness to Supergirl’s tone that rings familiar. A throb pulses through her head before fading. Alex takes a breath, suddenly unsteady on her feet. A shiver goes up her spine as her skin grows clammy. 

Supergirl notices the change immediately. Swirls of blue widen in alarm and worry. “Director, perhaps you should sit down," she suggests, all hints of sarcasm gone. Supergirl looks half a second away from sweeping Alex up in her arms and flying to the hospital herself. Devotion lies open on her face. 

Alex’s throat clenches at the soft concern directed her way. With it comes a swell of confusion and an ache. The reaction is not far off from the warmth of Kara’s regard. The comparison makes her uncomfortable. Anger is an easy emotion to conjure and grip. She holds onto it like an anchor. 

“You don’t need to concern yourself with me, Supergirl,” she says in a hiss, tone biting. “The frail, weak human can handle herself. Now if that’s all, the DEO mandates that all civilians must vacate the premises during active investigations. _ Leave_.” 

Supergirl takes to the words like a physical blow. She swallows, all heartbreak and hurt. Sorrow melds into a muted line. A sheen of wet glosses over blue eyes. Alex is reminded of the oceans she used to surf when she was young, Kara waiting by the shoreline. 

“Make sure to get some rest, Director,” Supergirl murmurs in parting. 

Gone again.

Alex exhales a shaky breath, guilt churning. She covers the tops of her face with a sigh.

**X**

Alex spends the entire next day spinning. She tries her damnedest to brush aside the confusing feelings swirling inside her, but they’ve manifested into a pit of guilt low in her stomach. She stews in it, dwelling again.

She’s always hated when things don’t make sense. There’s order in everything, a certain way things work and don’t work. Ways people behave rationally and ways they don’t.

Supergirl isn’t fitting into any of her set rationales.

She’s not supposed to care about Alex. Not this much. They’re former colleagues at best. She bears no ill will toward the hero, but she’s confused as to why she’s being constantly shadowed. She isn’t helpless. She trained for years to do this job, to stop alien threats. Anti-alien threats, too, now. She’s more than capable of doing so, without an all-powerful alien watching her every move.

The oddest part is the caring, though. The hurt. Alex can’t remember being outright cruel to Supergirl in the past, but she’s sure they’ve had their conflicts — even if vivid examples aren’t exactly jumping to the forefront of her mind.

But the way Supergirl reacted when she lashed out — unfairly, she knows that — had completely thrown her. How can Alex or anything she thinks mean so much to this girl when their relationship isn’t…well, _ anything_.

When her watch beeps at six o’clock, she sighs, sets aside her muddled thoughts.

Sister Night, rescheduled, awaits her. That should shift her focus. For a little while, at least.

**X**

Sister Night isn’t much better.

Alex tries to put on a happy face for Kara but it’s really no use. Her sister is just as quiet, distant. Alex nudges her to talk, but she just shrugs it off.

“I’m fine, Alex,” Kara insists. “Just a bad day.”

Alex thinks to argue, at first. Usually, Kara’s bad days end with her venting every miserable minute of it to Alex. Sometimes over the phone but mostly in person, seeking advice or sympathy, comfort from someone who will always be on her side.

And Alex is. Always.

Honestly, she can’t think of many instances where Kara’s kept her troubles to herself in the time they’ve known each other. In the beginning, maybe. During Alex’s asshole teenager phase, definitely. But Kara is usually the one pushing for honesty, transparency, not letting a single thing slip by.

Alex should do the same. Ordinarily, she would. Today, she just doesn’t have it in her.

She lets it go.

They watch _ The Wizard of Oz_, mostly in silence. Kara refills the popcorn bowl a few times and doesn’t say a word when Alex cracks open her third beer. Alex wonders if she should be insulted by Kara’s clear lack of interest, but she bites her tongue. The last thing she needs right now is to start trouble with the most important person in her life because she’s a little revved up.

When the movie ends and Kara declares she’s ready for bed, Alex takes the hint. She gets up to leave, masking her surprise when Kara stands to walk her to the door.

Kara hugs her tight after they’ve exchanged goodnights. Alex sighs, relaxes into the familiar warmth.

“Feel better, kid.”

“Yeah.” Kara pulls back to look at her, falling silent. Alex’s stomach clenches; it’s strangely similar to the stares she’s received from Supergirl the last few weeks. Tired, resigned. A soul-deep surrender.

It unnerves her.

“Call me tomorrow?” Alex asks when she finds her voice again.

Kara blinks, a flicker of surprise passing through blue eyes before full lips raise in a warm smile. “Sure, Alex. Love you.”

That makes Alex grin, sets her mind at ease again.

“Love you too.”

**X**

Supergirl does as she’s told and keeps her distance. The hero’s presence is only visible through a lens. 

Two days pass without another sighting. Alex chews on her bottom lip absently. Another person driven away. The choice seemingly an easy one. No fight left in the supposed Girl of Steel.

_ Guess I’m not worth even that. _The thought comes unprompted, sours her mood. How can Supergirl claim to care, yet be so quick to pull away? Alex hates how much it bothers her. She grimaces, attempts to snap herself out of it. Shame brims just beneath the surface. Supergirl has proved to be a distraction in the worst of ways.

Long moments pass without action. Her team silently awaits her orders. Alex crouches further down with a sigh, peers through the slits of the crates stacked all around them. She raises her hand to signal for Squad A to move in, gestures for Squad B to ready up at the other end of the warehouse. 

The operation is a go. There is no escape for the hostile. All exits are blocked out. A smirk curves Alex’s mouth as everything proceeds as planned. Smooth. The way it’s supposed to be. At least she still excels at this. They circle the hostile, knock it to the ground. Squad A’s leader is quick to apply cuffs to the K’Hund’s ankles and wrists. The hostile is deathly calm. Unlike the others from his warrior race. The reaction causes Alex to falter in her steps, her eyes narrowing in thought.

It’s then an explosion sounds out behind her. The blast wave knocks her forward, away from her team. She lands on her side with a thump, ears ringing. Wrist absorbing the impact. Pain surges through her as her equilibrium thrown out of whack. Chaos enacts around her. 

The warehouse is flooded with K’Hunds. Four to the pack. Guns are fired, bullets fly. The sounds of struggle are muffled. Alex is hauled up then, her stomach lurching. She holds in bile as she gasps for breath, a K’Hund grasping around her neck. Her airway is cut off. The panic doesn’t have time to build. She suddenly finds herself on the floor once more, several feet away. 

In front of her is a flash of red. The K’Hunds fall to the ground — all except one. Supergirl stands tall and regal, bright eyes burning blue with heat. The hostile dangles helplessly in the air as it fights against Supergirl’s hold. 

Supergirl’s teeth are bared in a growl as she glares up at the K’Hund. Alex is unable to hear a word spoken. She lets out a tiny groan of pain as she leans on the side opposite her injured wrist and grabs at her discarded gun. 

Alex makes it on her feet just in time to see Supergirl fling the K’Hund backward into a concrete wall. She winces at its shriek of pain. Even she finds the display of violence a bit much.

Before she can even think to speak, Supergirl appears beside her. A manic sort of energy rolls off Supergirl in waves. The pheromones released in the air are stifling, causing the omega in her to purr. Alex bites down on her tongue to hold in a whimper as Supergirl’s palms pass over her form, leaving a trail of heat. 

“Where are you hurt? Let me see.” Fear and worry war in Supergirl’s tone as she steps in front of Alex, blocking her view of her team even as they go about the process of rounding up the hostiles.

“I’m fine, I’m good.” Alex bats Supergirl’s hands away. Mortifyingly, a surge of arousal pools in her stomach. Red shades her cheeks. “I-I’m okay. My team, I have to—”

“_Alex._” Her name is said in a growl. “_Let _me see.” Supergirl’s voice is firm. A command. All authority, alpha at play.

Alex’s eyes flutter as she comes to a stop, fight leaving her. She lets out a shuddery breath. “Okay.” Supergirl’s eyes trail over her body intently, lingering on her arm. Supergirl reaches over to delicately cradle Alex’s wrist.

“It’s not broken,” Supergirl starts in a murmur, her other palm sliding along Alex’s back, feeling around for other injuries. Alex shivers as Supergirl’s fingers brush along her side. 

“Here?” Supergirl’s focus returns to Alex. “Is that where it hurts?” The pheromones in the air start to fade as Supergirl grows calm in her presence, alpha instincts in retreat. “Let me see?”

It’s a question this time. A hint of guilt swirls in blue eyes as Supergirl finally comes back to herself, almost as if just now realizing the calls for submission she released. Alex swallows, nodding a little. Supergirl’s palm hovers over her side for a moment before lifting her tactical shirt. 

Supergirl peers at it and then hums. “That’s going to bruise,” she says with a sigh, stepping back. Supergirl crosses her arms, gaze veering left as she falls silent. 

Alex tugs her shirt down with her good hand and shifts on her feet. Warmth still pulses through her. Alex clears her throat. “I—um, thank you for the assist, Supergirl,” she begins, tone stilted. Alex resists the urge to fidget at Supergirl’s responding nod, the action stiff. 

“How—” Alex pauses, licking her lips. “How did you know to come here?”

Oddly, the tips of Supergirl’s ears turn red. Alex watches in fascination as Supergirl’s shoulders lift in a careless shrug, nose wrinkling. 

“I took your advice,” Supergirl huffs, eyes rolling as if she can’t believe what she’s saying. “Listened from a distance.” She turns to gaze at Alex intently. “I’m not going to stop looking out for you just because you tell me to.” A smirk teases the corners of her mouth. “You don’t actually have any authority over my actions, Director.”

Alex hums, lifting an eyebrow, watching as that smirk grows fuller. She knows what Supergirl has said is true. _ Of course _ she knows. She’s not stupid. Supergirl being outside the government’s control is exactly why the President dismissed her, why Haley went on that pointless little witch hunt.

But she won’t say that. She’s stubborn if nothing else.

“Well, like I said, I appreciate the assist,” Alex says, sincerely, cradling her sore wrist. Her ego might be a little wounded, but if it wasn’t for Supergirl, she very well might be dead. She’s not such an ass that she can’t appreciate the alien’s help.

“But…” She glances around at her team, keeps her voice low. “I would still caution you to steer clear when you can.” Supergirl frowns, looking ready to protest, but Alex continues. “I’m trying to keep you from getting hauled in, okay? There are a lot of people in high places, my superior officer especially, who are dying to get their hands on you. You _ don’t _ want that.”

She makes pointed eye contact with the hero, hoping Supergirl can see that her concern is real. A pet Kryptonian is exactly what the President wants, and Alex isn’t inclined to play into his hands. It wouldn’t be a good situation for anyone, least of all Supergirl.

“Just…be careful,” she sighs at last.

Supergirl is quiet, regarding her with an odd mix of uncertainty and affection. For once, she looks pleased. Absurdly so. Alex fidgets under her gaze, still a little dizzy from the surge of alpha pheromones that had smacked her in the face before.

Supergirl is _ definitely _ a puzzle.

Alex takes the slight nod she receives a moment later as the hero yielding and feels relieved. That in itself throws her a bit, but maybe it shouldn’t. If there’s one thing that has become clear to her lately, it’s that this caring thing is more mutual than she’d like to admit. Supergirl obviously cares about her opinions; maybe that means she’ll take them to heart.

“I want you to promise me something, Alex,” the hero says softly. Blue eyes pierce so deeply into Alex she could swear her heart skips a beat. Hearing her name spoken instead of her title probably doesn’t help much either.

She sucks on her bottom lip and eventually nods, too. “Okay. What?”

Supergirl reaches back under her cape while Alex watches, perplexed. Does she have a pocket back there? She’s wondered for a while. That super suit doesn’t seem very practical.

When her hand comes out again, she’s holding a watch. Alex finds herself breathing in sharply, awed. She knows exactly what this is before Supergirl utters a word. She’s seen James’ up close plenty of times.

Supergirl presses the watch into one of her hands, delicately folding Alex’s fingers over the band. Alex is stunned, lost for words _ again_. She kind of hates that Supergirl has that sort of profound effect on her.

“Call me if you need me,” Supergirl tells her sternly. “Promise me.” Her gaze is relentless, imploring. Alex gets the feeling she wouldn’t take kindly to a refusal. This clearly means a lot to her.

“Sure,” she agrees, pleased when a beatific smile lights up the hero’s face. “I’ll call if I need you.” Supergirl lifts both eyebrows expectantly. “_Promise_,” Alex tacks on, amused. “Happy?”

That touch of sadness she’d thought was gone flashes through Supergirl’s eyes again, vanishing an instant later. She’s still smiling brightly when she nods and says, “For now.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not everyone is a fan of Lena, so fair warning that she features a bit in this chapter and will be making appearances in future chapters. No worries, though - Supercorp is a strictly platonic friendship and will remain so!

**X**

Dark again. 

Kara stands atop a roof across from Alex’s apartment. She watches with a muted expression as Alex limps inside, a wince to her gait, favoring her left side. A remnant of the danger Kara failed to protect her from. The thought brings forth a grimace and Kara gives into the urge to look away. 

A coil of resentment churns at her insides. While she can’t stomach being around Alex when her sister lies unknowing, she also can’t find it in her to stay away. Kara closes her eyes. There’s a conflict brewing beneath the seams of a mask called _ human _where no amount of platitudes from her friends can relieve the weight. 

She loves her sister. Loves her with a fervent intensity that borders an absolute and yet…

With a shake of her head, Kara turns and shoots up into the sky.

Some dilemmas are best left unspoken. 

**X**

By the time Kara lowers herself onto Lena’s balcony, National City is blessedly quiet. The usual sounds of people going about their business fills Kara’s ears, but she filters them out with practiced ease. For now, there are no incidents that require her assistance or attention. She peers inside Lena’s window mutely. 

Lena’s apartment is still. Silent. Sterile. A lot of s-words that aren’t very welcoming. Lena’s presence is the only thing that makes this very modern, very staged apartment feel as if there’s any life in it. She has that way about her, though. A quality Kara still can’t quite pinpoint that can put anyone at ease if that’s what she wants. It’s a big part of why Kara was so drawn to her from the very start, why she trusts her so much, even with her biggest secrets.

That isn’t to say they haven’t had their issues. The Kryptonite James had discovered in the L-Corp labs had caused quite a rift, but it was that rift that had convinced Kara it was time to bring Lena into the Super Friends officially. She couldn’t stand to have her best friend thinking the worst of her because of a misunderstanding. Despite a few reservations, Kara had finally sat Lena down and revealed herself, explaining everything to the best of her ability.

It wasn’t easy for a while, but it was worth it. Lena was closer to the group and to Kara herself as a result, and their occasionally one-sided talks opened up so much more. For a while, Kara didn’t have to hide from _ anyone _ she loves. She didn’t have to pretend.

But that isn’t true anymore.

Now Alex — her very best friend, her lifeline, her _ reason _ for becoming Supergirl — doesn’t know. She thinks Kara and Supergirl are different people, that _ Supergirl _ is stalking her. And Alex might even be attracted to Supergirl? She’s a little uncertain on that part. Still, Kara refuses to entertain the possibility for longer than a moment. The air around them had been suffused with alpha pheromones. What omega _ wouldn’t _ have reacted?

It’s all just…a mess. Kara’s life is a mess. A huge freaking mess. But when isn’t it?

Tapping gently on the glass balcony door, she smiles and gives a little wave when Lena lifts her head from the book she’s reading. She wasn’t planning to stop by, but she knows Lena won’t mind a surprise visit. They’ve had a few lunches together lately, but Kara’s spent most of her off time wallowing in her misery at home. Some girl time with Lena is long overdue and exactly what she needs right now.

Sure enough, a fond, genuine smile immediately curls Lena’s lips as she gets to her feet to pull the sliding door open.

“Kara!” Lena sounds positively thrilled. “It’s so good to see you.” She snags Kara around the wrist and Kara allows herself to be tugged into the living room. When Lena’s arms wrap around her in a hug, Kara sighs happily and sinks into the embrace for a few long moments before pulling away.

“You don’t mind me popping in?” she checks. She knows the answer, but she never wants to intrude. She knows Lena values her alone time. If Kara’s job was anywhere near as stressful as running two billion-dollar companies, she would probably want to be alone more often, too.

“Of course not, you know that,” Lena assures her. She taps a small touchpad beside the balcony doors and a dark screen descends over the glass as the red glow of the sunlamps shade the room. “Come sit. Or is this an overnight visit? You’re welcome to borrow some comfortable clothes.”

Kara smiles and nods. “Yeah, actually, that sounds great. Just give me a minute.” She gives Lena another quick, grateful squeeze before slipping back into the bedroom to change into some of Lena’s roomier casual clothes and freshen up.

When she returns, she’s greeted with the familiar buttery aroma of fresh popcorn. Lena’s back on the couch, her legs tucked up beneath her with her book in hand again. A ridiculously large bowl of popcorn sits on the coffee table in front of her. She looks up when she hears Kara’s footsteps on the floor, dropping her book on the table and patting the seat on the couch beside her.

Kara doesn’t hesitate to sit down next to her, immediately reaching out to take the popcorn bowl into her lap. She grins when Lena laughs, feeling lighter already. Like the dark cloud that’s been looming over her head for days is starting to dissipate just a little bit.

“So what brings you here tonight?” Lena inquires. Kara turns to meet her eyes while shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth. She’s sure Lena already knows, but her expression is neutral, green eyes soft with concern.

Kara’s cheeks burn hot, and she shrugs a little awkwardly, suddenly worried Lena will get upset with her for wanting to talk about Alex again. It seems like that’s all she can focus on lately. She’s being too self-centered. She doesn’t want Lena to think she’s being used as just a sounding board.

“Maybe I just miss you,” she tries, batting her eyelashes at the omega. But Lena quirks a disbelieving eyebrow, an amused smile tugging her lips upward, and Kara sighs. She’s a horrible liar.

“Kara,” Lena says patiently, “it’s okay. Tell me.”

Kara pops another handful of popcorn into her mouth, munching slowly while she parses out just how to talk about everything she’s feeling. She’s already told Lena little bits here and there, but it feels like everything has shifted since then. She’s not sure she can put it all into words adequately.

“The mindwipe,” she finally begins, “it’s been rough. I mean, it’s getting a little better.” She chews another piece of popcorn thoughtfully. “But it’s still so hard.”

“I know,” Lena says softly, raising a hand to run through Kara’s hair. Kara scoots a little closer, leaning into the soothing touch. “You miss her.”

Kara nods, sucking on her bottom lip. “I feel like I can’t be myself with her anymore. I’m _ not_. Even when it’s just us, I can’t be who I used to be around her. I have to watch what I say so I won't give away the big secret. I’ve never had to do that with her before. I’ve never had to lie to her. It _ sucks_.”

Lena hums sympathetically. Kara feels a little bad complaining about how burdensome lying can be to Lena after how long she kept the truth from her. But if anyone understands how hard it is for Kara to keep her secret from the people she loves, it’s Lena. She saw it for herself when Kara finally sat her down to tell her.

“Alex did this to keep you safe,” Lena reminds her, as she always does. “She didn’t do it to punish you. I know it's been difficult, but the way you’ve been dwelling isn't healthy, Kara. Not only are you making yourself miserable, you’re also causing unnecessary strife in your relationship with Alex.”

“I’m trying to be better,” Kara grumbles, but she knows Lena’s point is valid. She’s let herself drown in her sadness, in her anger, and feels betrayed by what Alex has done. It may be well-meant, but it really has put her in an impossible situation.

This is the Alex she’s going to have forever now. J’onn can’t just flick a switch and change her back. The choice Alex made was permanent. Kara will never have the woman she loves back fully. She has to start accepting that.

“I know.” Lena smiles at her gently and takes one of Kara’s hands out of the popcorn bowl. “You’ll get there. And I’m always here if you want to talk.” She twines their fingers together and gives Kara’s hand a good, hard squeeze.

Kara nods, affection for Lena blooming warmly in her chest. She honestly doesn’t know what she would do without her best friend. It’s nice having someone she can be completely honest with. Lena knows everything about her now, even the things she’s held close to her heart for years.

When the Supergirl secret came out of the bag, it _ all _ came out. Including how decidedly non-sisterly Kara’s feelings are for Alex. And thankfully, Lena had taken it in stride, with only a few little jokes about losing all hopes she ever had of being with Kara herself. She’s been nothing but supportive and encouraging without being pushy. Kara’s never felt so lucky to have met Lena as she has since Alex’s memory was altered.

“Tell me about your day,” Kara encourages the omega. She pulls her hand away but only to wrap that arm around Lena’s shoulders. “I could use the distraction.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind if—”

“Hey,” Kara interrupts her. “This friendship goes both ways, Lee. So tell me. Did you talk to that pretty beta girl from accounting yet?”

Lena grins broadly, and that’s all it takes. Kara picks up a few more pieces of popcorn and listens to Lena talk, letting the rest fade to the back of her mind. At least for now.

**X**

Kara grumbles as she makes her way through her apartment, kicking off her boots and tossing them across the room. Once again, Manchester and his Elite had managed to slip through her fingers. She likens herself to a wolf on the prowl, but Manchester plays her more the fool. A jester in the wind. This entire situation has left her frustrated beyond belief. Though it’s not just the Elite bothering her. Lena is—

The soft rattling of keys pulls her from her thoughts. Kara narrows her eyes as she looks through the door, only for them to widen at the sight of her sister. An unexpected arrival. She glances down at her phone. No messages signalling the impromptu visit. Kara sighs and clears the room, her suit now hidden in the depths of her closet, shoes tucked haphazardly underneath the bed.

After fumbling between the food that rests precariously in her arms and her keys that dangle from her other hand, Alex finally manages to open the door. She leans against it with a sigh and turns to shoot Kara a playful glare.

“A little help, please?” 

Kara fiddles with her glasses. It’s the first time she’s seen her sister today outside of the distant observations she’s made as Supergirl. She gives Alex a tentative smile before hurrying over to help her with the bags. 

“While I’m never going to turn down free food, it’s not like you to drop by without calling,” Kara points out as she carries the bags of Chinese food over to her counter. She starts rifling through them immediately, grinning when she spots the several containers of potstickers left at the bottom. Alex may have forgotten the reasoning behind it, but at least she remembers that Kara likes to eat. 

“Have I mentioned that you’re my absolute favorite person ever?”

Alex rolls her eyes, affection pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Yeah, yeah. You say that to anyone who feeds you.” She sticks her tongue out at Kara. “You’re just lucky I love you enough to indulge that bottomless pit you call a stomach.”

Kara pouts at that. “Now that’s just rude.” She huffs as she pushes up her glasses with a finger. “You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.”

Oddly, Alex’s cheeks tinge red as her shoulder lifts in a half shrug. “I need an excuse to see my baby sister?” she asks as she finishes shrugging off her jacket. “It’s not like you haven’t stopped by my place unannounced before.”

“True.” Kara concedes even as she eyes her sister dubiously. She can tell something is bothering Alex but doesn’t know how to go about asking her what’s wrong. Tension bleeds between them in every interaction. She hates it. 

Kara bites her lip, remembering Lena’s words from last night, right before they fell asleep. _ You have to try to not let this come between you, Kara. _Kara takes a long breath before letting it out her nose slowly. When Alex straightens up after untying her shoes, Kara walks across the room to draw her sister into a tight hug. 

“Whoa there.” Alex chuckles, the anxiety she exuded easing as she melts into Kara’s front. “What’s this for?” 

Kara swallows and sets her nose against her sister’s temple. “I just missed you,” she murmurs, cupping the back of Alex’s neck. “And I love you,” she adds after a moment, voice soft. “I’m happy you came over.”

Alex’s breath warms her neck as delicate fingers curl into the fabric of Kara’s shirt. “Me too.”

Tears sting the corners of Kara's eyes as she nods slowly. “I know I’ve been a little weird lately—”

“Pft, lately?” Alex interrupts, leaning back to grin up at Kara and gently poke the crinkle between her nose. “When are you _ not_?"

“_Alex._” Kara whines, brows furrowing. “I’m trying to be serious.” She finishes in a grumble, arms growing taut around her sister’s waist. 

“I am too!” Alex responds with a chuckle. “What I’m saying is that it’s okay if you’ve been a little weird.” She brushes her fingers along the side of Kara’s neck. “You’re _ my _weirdo, Kar,” Alex murmurs. “I have you no matter what. Always, remember?” 

Kara swallows, throat thick. A tear slips down her cheek as she presses a long kiss to the top of Alex’s head.

“Always,” Kara quietly replies. And for the first time since the mindwipe, she allows herself to be fully immersed in the comfort of Alex’s scent.

**X**

They’re halfway through an episode of _ The Wire _when out of nowhere Alex asks, “Did you know Supergirl is an alpha?”

Kara jaw snaps shut as she does a double take. Her head whips towards Alex, mouth parting as she stares at her sister with wide eyes, “Um…” The spoon hanging from her mouth clatters onto the floor. Kara blinks, ignoring the way her sister’s nose wrinkles in distaste as she bends down to use the ends of her shirt to wipe at the smear left from her ice cream. “I mean, she’s never mentioned it to me, but…” She takes a shaky breath, willing herself to calm. “But yeah, I knew.”

“Really?” Alex tilts her head, surprise replacing her grossed out expression. “How?”

Swallowing, Kara considers how to answer without totally giving herself away. She fiddles with her glasses as she tries to come up with a believable response. “Uh, Lena told me,” Kara says, completely missing the grimace that passes over her sister’s face as she leans over to dump another pile of rice on her plate. “Supergirl told her it was okay.” She looks over at Alex with a small smile. “As long as I promised not to write an article about it, that is.” 

“I’m actually surprised it’s never come up in interviews,” Alex mutters, gaze narrowed in faux contemplation. “I’m sure that would be a hot scoop.” Alex snorts. “Imagine the headlines: _ Girl of Steel, an Alpha’s Alpha. _ That’ll make her someone for the Omegas to _ really _ pant over._" _

Discomfort coils in Kara’s stomach at the mocking lilt to her sister’s tone. Aggravation surges through her, clings to her skin like something hot. Sticky. She grits her teeth. “Well, you know, maybe that’s the reason why Supergirl doesn’t tell people,” she begins, voice tight. “Maybe Supergirl’s priority isn’t to be an _ alpha’s alpha _ or to screw any omega in sight. Maybe, just _ maybe_, Supergirl doesn’t want people to treat her in accordance to what’s between her legs.” Kara lowers her plate to rest on her knees, appetite waning. “I know I certainly don’t."

Alex falls silent at that. 

Kara chews on her bottom lip, warring between guilt at lashing out and stubborn resolve. 

Before the mindwipe, talks of biology and social standing had been moot. Only to be brought up when Alex was venting about some asshole alpha at work or Kara was lamenting on people pushing her to behave more like a proper _ human _alpha. 

Alex’s general disdain for her alter ego had been a shock, one she could barely stand to tolerate, but the contemptuous regard towards her social status may be a bit too much. 

Kara squeezes her eyes shut when she feels a warm hand settle on her wrist.

“I'm sorry, Kara.” Alex’s fingers brush up along the length of Kara's arm. “I know you and Supergirl are friends. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Alex pauses, scooting a bit closer to her on the couch. “You’ve always been so good to me about that stuff." Kara’s breath hitches when Alex links their palms and leans against her shoulder. “I was just wondering.” 

A wave of calm washes over Kara and she scents the air with furrowed brows. It’s not like Alex to release pheromones around her, even the harmless ones. She glances down at her sister cautiously. “Why are you asking about Supergirl anyway?” she probes, though a part of her isn't sure she wants to know the answer. 

“Oh.” Alex’s cheeks flush as a demure expression crosses her face. “No reason,” she whispers, ducking her head as she practically buries herself into Kara’s side. “How was your day yesterday?”

Kara considers calling Alex out on the change in topic but sighs instead. Wrapping an arm around her sister, Kara falls back into the couch. She tugs Alex along with her. 

“Fine. Hung out with Lena for a bit,” she starts quietly, gently running her fingers through soft dark hair. "Honestly, I'm kind of worried about her.” Kara bites her lip, nerves from earlier returning. “When I dropped her off at her office this morning, Jess told me Lena’s been getting death threats. She’s got some big conference coming up, too. I’m going to try and talk her out of going.”

When that doesn’t prompt a response, Kara glances back down at Alex with a frown. “You okay, Lexie?”

“Yeah. Just tired.” Alex bites her lip, a note of conflict dimming her gaze. “Hopefully she listens to you.”

“Well, you know Lee. Stubborn as hell,” Kara mutters under her breath before heaving a sigh. “I’m just glad Supergirl will be there to protect her, you know?” 

Alex nods a little into Kara’s chest. “Yeah,” she says, dark eyes fluttering shut. “At least she’ll have that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, fair warning for those who aren't fans, Lena features heavily in this chapter. But just to clear up any confusion, the main romantic pairing in this fic is and will continue to be Kalex. Hope everyone enjoys!

**X**

“I really don’t think you should do this.”

Lena sighs, fixing Kara with a resolute stare, but Kara doesn’t back down. Instead, she puts her hands on her hips and keeps herself squarely between Lena and her office door. She knows she’s striking quite an imposing figure right now, standing at her full height in her super suit, feet planted firmly. If she was bodily blocking anyone else in the world right now, they would do the sensible thing and back down. Lena, unfortunately, is not just anyone.

“Kara,” Lena says quietly, reaching out to take Kara’s hands into her own. “I understand your concern. I _ appreciate _ your concern, so very much. But this conference is crucial for L-Corp. I could make connections here that will sustain the company for years. I can’t stop living my life because of a couple silly death threats from extremists, darling. If I did that, I would never have gotten to where I am now, would I?"

“‘A couple silly death threats’?” Kara repeats, incredulous. “Lena, Jess has _ sixty _ ‘silly death threats’ in a file on her desk right now. Not a couple and not silly. Believe me, I read a little over a dozen of them before I had to stop. These are graphic and real and you don’t know that they’re not serious.”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” Lena retorts petulantly. She’s so damn obstinate, equally if not more so than Alex, and it drives Kara crazy. And then she raises one of those ridiculous dark eyebrows, like she’s challenging Kara to argue with her.

So Kara does, clenching her teeth.

“By sheer dumb _ luck _ and because I _ love _you,” she snaps. Her response is a bit snippier than originally intended, but this situation is making her anxiety skyrocket. It’s only because she’s deathly worried for Lena’s safety that she hasn’t flown out of here to find something to punch. Why is it that she loves people who throw themselves into dangerous situations so recklessly?

Lena’s eyes are hard now, her chin lifted stubbornly and her arms folded across her chest. Kara feels tension spread like an icy hand across her chest. She knows Lena well, and she knows when she’s made her angry. She opens her mouth to backtrack, to explain that she didn’t mean it the way Lena’s thinking, but her tongue feels thick in her mouth.

“Well, _ Supergirl_, it’s nice to know I’m living solely by your grace.” Her tone is colder than Kara has heard it in a very long time, especially directed toward her. She has to suppress the urge to shiver. “What ever would I _ do _ without you?”

Kara shifts her feet, some of the angry tension melting out of her shoulders. She feels guilt swirling in the pit of her stomach, but she’s _ worried_. She knows Lena, and she knows when she needs to interfere and when she doesn’t. She wouldn’t be here having this fight if there wasn’t a legitimate reason for it.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” she says softly. “Lena, pl—”

“Well, it’s what you said,” Lena cuts her off primly. Her jaw tenses and a long stretch of silence spreads between them. Kara doesn’t know what to say so she says nothing and waits. She understands she’s hit on a sensitive spot; Lena is such a prideful person that it’s no surprise she’s taken a little offense from Kara’s words. Eventually, Lena takes a deep breath and softens before her.

“I know you mean well, but this is something I have to do. You’re welcome to wait nearby if you’re truly this worried. But I will call for you if I need you.” She lifts her left arm, pointedly showing off the thick watch strapped around her wrist, equipped with Kara’s signal. “Alright?”

Kara doesn’t like it. With anti-alien sentiment at an all-time high, there has been an uncomfortable amount of tension in the city. Because Lena is a Luthor, both sides have been vying for her support. Thankfully she hasn’t given into either side, but it’s painted an even larger target on her back than usual. This latest batch of death threats, in particular, have really gotten Kara’s hackles up. She always has a healthy fear for Lena’s life, but after what she’s seen, she’s on high alert herself.

But she knows how stubborn Lena is. She can call her reckless and stupid all she wants, stand directly in her path like she is now, but that doesn’t mean Lena will listen or give in to her. It’s admirable in an infuriating sort of way.

“Fine,” she acquiesces with a sigh. “If you want to act like a dummy, fine.” Lena smiles at her and leans forward to kiss her cheek, a gesture that makes Kara melt a bit more. “But I’ll be nearby,” she says firmly.

“Whatever makes you happy,” Lena agrees.

**X**

The building where Lena’s conference is held has tinted windows. This makes no difference to Kara, of course — it takes her no effort to see through them with her enhanced vision — but she doesn’t like it one bit. Who takes the time to add tinting on hotel windows unless something’s going on? Something sinister, something they don’t want to risk any old outsider with a telescope peeking in on.

Kara sighs, scratching along her jaw. In the back of her mind, she can hear Lena telling her she’s being ridiculous. And, admittedly, she probably _ is _ being ridiculous. But can she really be blamed? She’s already lost Alex to the rampant hatred seeping down into the DEO from the White House. She will not lose Lena to crazies on either side of this mess. She refuses.

She’s perched on the roof of the building directly across the street. Lena’s conference is being held in one of National City’s best hotels, in a conference room easily twice the size of Kara’s loft. The room is a few floors up from where its neighbor had chosen to stop adding on, but she can still see and hear perfectly from this vantage point. She’d considered hovering across from that window but thought it best to keep as low a profile as possible, if only so she wasn’t chastised by Lena later.

Even from here, if something _ does _ happen, she can be there in a heartbeat to put a stop to it. She’s genuinely hoping nothing happens. More than anything, she wants the stack of death threats Lena ignored to be nothing but a bunch of bullies who were all bark and no bite. But she has a bad feeling, a sick chill causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. If there’s one thing she’s learned in her time as Supergirl, it’s to listen to her instincts.

Hours roll by. One, two, nearly three without incident. Kara starts to wonder if maybe she _ is _ overreacting, but she stays vigilant, sweeping her eyes over every corner of the large conference room Lena and her colleagues are occupying. She keeps an ear peeled but doesn’t listen to much of what’s said unless it seems pertinent. But overall, it really is just business talk. Dull enough to make Kara briefly wish she’d just gone on to work.

It isn’t until the lunch hour hits that a whispered exchange catches her attention.

_ “That’s her. Third seat in on the right side of the table. Ready?” _

There’s a pause, then a soft clicking noise before another voice responds.

_ “Let’s get the bitch.” _

Kara jerks her head up, her x-ray vision penetrating the door on the far side of the conference room. One skinny man and one rather bulky man twist open the door and stroll in with a room service cart loaded with fancy dishes. But it’s not the food that catches her attention; it’s the fully loaded handgun stuffed in the skinny man’s jacket pocket.

The window shatters, glass spraying everywhere when Kara unceremoniously bursts through. The man has drawn his gun and _ just _ pulled the trigger when she lands with a resounding thud on the floor and knocks the bullet out of the air. She snarls at the terror-stricken men, teeth bared, and snatches the gun from the skinny one. She crushes it into dust with one hand and lifts the other to sweep both of them off their feet. They land one on top of the other, groaning in pain.

“Please,” she snaps, rolling her eyes at the pathetic display. “The worst you’ll have is a few bruises.” She inspects the bulkier man’s eye; his comrade’s elbow had apparently slammed right into it and the flesh is starting to color. She hums thoughtfully, cocking her head. “Maybe a black eye.”

Security bursts into the room after Kara has gotten both men to their feet, wrenching their hands behind their backs and holding their wrists together with one hand each.

Kara spends the next fifteen minutes speaking to the security guards about what happened, though she can't help but sneak worried glances Lena's way throughout the entirety of it.

“Supergirl, thank heavens.” An older gentleman with a hint of an Italian accent in a sleek gray tie smiles at her. “A guest down the hall reported hearing a gunshot. The police have arrived to collect these two…_hooligans_.” He sneers at the growling men as they’re dragged out the door before returning his gaze to Kara. “Is everyone unharmed?”

“We’re fine, Mr. Vespucci, thank you.” Kara turns, noticing for the first time that Lena has come to stand beside her. “A bit spooked but unharmed, thanks to Supergirl.” Kara smiles smugly at the omega, but Lena’s attention never leaves Mr. Vespucci. “I’ll cover the cost to replace the shattered window. Send the bill to L-Corp. Now, if you’ll excuse us.”

“Of course, Ms. Luthor. And my sincerest apologies. I can assure you this will _ not _ happen again.”

Kara nearly snorts in response, but she’s being dragged across the room before she can make a sound or utter a word. Lena’s colleagues are talking frantically amongst themselves, but Kara doesn’t care enough to listen to their snippets of conversation. All of her attention is on her best friend, who she refrains from hugging, no matter how desperately she wants to.

“Are you okay?” she asks quietly. She scrutinizes Lena intently before passing her palms down along the arms of her blazer, worry etched across her face.

“I’m fine,” Lena murmurs patiently. But her racing heartbeat inundates Kara’s ears, and she frowns disapprovingly. “_Supergirl_, really. Thank you, but I’m okay. You made sure of that. You should go.”

“Lena…” Kara doesn’t like that idea. Granted, the attempt on Lena’s life had barely gotten off the ground by the time she stepped in, but it was still an attempt. Who’s to say there won’t be another? Those two thugs had gotten into the room; what was to stop another determined pair? She juts out her bottom lip, gently digging her fingers into her best friend’s arms.

“You may _ not _ stay,” Lena tells her sternly, shrugging out of her grip. “These people will already be questioning how it is National City’s hometown hero _ happened _ to barrel in right as a gunman aimed for me. They’ll insinuate that I have you in my pocket, and that’s the last thing either of us needs right now. Alright?”

Kara’s pout deepens but she nods, albeit a bit reluctantly. She understands Lena’s point, even if her protective instincts are crying out in protest at the thought of leaving her best friend alone.

“As soon as you leave, you better press that button. I want to see you home safely,” Kara insists. Blue eyes lock onto green, and she watches the internal conflict flicker through Lena’s eyes before she nods curtly.

“I will.” A tiny smile touches Lena’s lips. “Now _ go_. Use the window I’ll be paying to replace.”

“Thank you,” Kara mumbles, blood rushing to her cheeks. She stands up straight, switching to the confident tone of voice that is all Supergirl. “Be safe, Ms. Luthor.”

“I’ll do my best, Supergirl,” Lena replies, smiling magnanimously. “Thank you again.”

Kara grins back, waves at Lena’s colleagues as she strides toward the broken window, and launches herself into the air. 

With a backward glance, she comes to a stop midair, brows furrowing when she spots her sister’s bike, recognizable by the subtle House of El decal on the side. She scans the area, pausing on the sight of Alex fiddling with her jacket sleeve across the conference room while Lena speaks with another conference attendee. Weird. How long had she been standing there?

Kara frowns in contemplation, looking down again. No sign of DEO issued vans. A personal visit then? 

“Alex never mentioned checking in on Lena,” Kara mutters, confusion narrowing her gaze.

She briefly considers touching down inside again, a fleeting thought. Ultimately decides against it. Something tells her Alex would not be receptive to questioning. Her eyes fall shut. Plus there’s the matter of her sister’s odd behavior towards her to contend with. Well, odd behavior towards _ Supergirl_, that is. The reminder shakes her to her core and it’s with that she turns away.

_ Later, _ Kara thinks as she shoots through the clouds. _ I’ll worry about it later. _

**X**

Alex arrives at the hotel around the same time as the police. Dressed in civilian attire, she easily blends into the crowd as she inspects the area from a distance. Broken glass, some black ties rumpled. No real damage. She breathes a sigh of relief. An attack without any casualties, it seems. Still, she can’t help but feel a bit worried when she doesn’t see Lena. Or Supergirl for that matter. Alex frowns. She had considered calling earlier, but something had given her pause. 

While she and Lena were cordial, she wouldn’t exactly call them best friends. That was Kara’s spot. In both their lives really. Alex rubs at her temple, the telltale signs of a headache coming on. She’s had a lot of those lately. 

Her focus is drawn to the officer near yellow tape. She makes her way over to him with an open demeanor. Alex has her badge at the ready, the image inducer built in already displaying the proper credentials as she flashes it at him.

“Danvers, FBI.” She allows the baffled officer a moment to look before slipping her badge back into her leather jacket. “I’m actually a friend of Ms. Luthor’s. Mind giving me the details on what happened here?” She pauses a beat, head tilting in thought. “And while you’re at it, point me in the direction of where I can find her.”

Alex listens intently as the police officer fills her in, nodding along with a muted expression that belies the concern and fear tightening her stomach. She looks around with a frown, the small showing of disarray taking on another meaning. Lena got lucky. Again. Alex takes a deep breath, suddenly feeling very tired. It’s one thing for her to consistently put her life on the line, but another thing entirely when Lena can’t even go to a business conference without fearing for her life.

_ Kara had been right to worry, _she thinks, frown deepening. A smattering of guilt and shame flicks through her. 

How can Alex fault Kara for her weirdness when she herself has been off the last few months? Though she’s never really been a fan of Kara’s friendship with Lena, lately there’s an unease that lingers in the face of it. Jealousy maybe? A discomforting revelation. She’s long since accepted her feelings for Kara, packed away in little boxes labeled ‘Danger’ years ago. What a stereotype of an omega she’s turned out to be. Wanting and falling for the nearest knot. Alex chastises herself internally for self-degrading thoughts. She knows it’s more than that. 

It’s always been more than that with Kara. 

Then there was the matter of Supergirl. It’s odd that she’s never noticed before, but the Girl of Steel reminds her a bit of Kara. Looks-wise, that is. At least Alex knows she has a type. Though long term relationships tended to veer towards the dissimilar. Maggie had been everything Kara was not and Alex had clung to that ideal with a passion that bordered zeal. Finally someone to lose herself in. Mon-El’s presence had proved all the better. On paper mostly. Alex still can’t believe she pushed her sister so hard towards the omega prince, even in spite of her own misgivings.

Alex’s thoughts trail off when she looks up and spots Lena and Supergirl across the room. That earlier feeling of discomfort returns tenfold as she scents the concern, love, and anxiety that rolls off of Supergirl in waves. 

Supergirl stands close to Lena, on the tail-end of a touch. Pretty mouth curved into a frown. They speak in low tones. Alex thinks to strain her ears but shakes her head at the notion a moment later. Her fingers twitch as she notes the way Lena’s expression shifts from exasperation to affection and back again. 

A lump forms in her throat. It’s almost worse than it is with Kara. At least Supergirl is something viable. Halfway attainable. Close to a pipe dream but not exactly. She grimaces as jealousy wracks through her. How humiliating to be reduced to this after a few brief encounters. She runs a palm back through her hair as she lowers her eyes. 

It’s not that she _ wants _ Supergirl. It’s just an observation really. She has eyes. Supergirl is an attractive alpha who has shown concern and interest in her. Expressed care. It’s natural to feel the stirrings of _ something, _but it doesn’t have to go beyond that. 

Besides, it seems Supergirl’s demeanor towards her is no different than the regard she shows Lena. There’s no favoritism to be had when the love is equal.

Alex blinks and then winces at a sharp stab of pain through her head. Heavy word choice. Inappropriate for the context. She waits for Supergirl to leave before walking over to where Lena stands conversing politely with another guest. 

Lena seems to notice her presence almost instantly, glancing at her for a split second and forward again. Alex watches as Lena gives a guarded apology to the woman she’s speaking to before turning to meet Alex halfway. 

“Alex.” Lena smiles, coming to a stop before her. A puzzled glint enters green eyes. “This is unexpected. Here on official DEO business?”

Alex returns the smile with one of her own. “Not exactly.” She shifts, slipping her palms into her jeans pockets as her shoulder lifts in a small shrug. “Heard what happened on one of the radios we have tuned into police scanners. Wanted to see if you were alright.”

Confusion flickers over Lena’s expression before smoothing out. “While appreciated, I assure you it wasn’t necessary.” Lena peers down at her phone a moment before looking back up at Alex. “I think Kara has done enough worrying to last a lifetime.” Her tone is dry and a wry smile plays on her lips. 

“She wasn’t the only one.” Alex attempts to keep her voice casual as she gives the room another cursory once-over. “Supergirl seemed pretty worried about you as well.”

“Hm.” Lena regards her quietly for a moment, a subtle tilt to her head. “Supergirl and Kara do tend to err on the side of caution. Much to my annoyance, at times.” She pauses, mouth softening as the tension in her shoulders eases. “Though I can’t say it hasn’t been nice. I’m not used to even one person caring about me, let alone two.”

“Three,” Alex is quick to add. Alleged jealousy aside, she does genuinely like Lena.

Both of Lena’s eyebrows raise, surprise flashing across her face. A genuine smile curls her lips. Alex can’t help but smile slightly in return, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Three, then,” Lena amends, looking pleased. “Thank you, Alex.”

“Yeah, of course.” Alex nods. “I’m glad you’re alright. I’ll leave you to it, unless you…need me to stay.”

“I think I can handle it.” Lena reaches out and grasps Alex’s hand, a small smirk playing on her lips. “I’m sure I’ll see you again soon, _ Special Agent _ Danvers.”

Alex smirks right back, her expression otherwise schooled into her professional mask. “I’m sure you will, Ms. Luthor.”

**X**

When Alex arrives home, she calls Kara. Three times. The phone rings straight through to voicemail every time, so she doesn’t try again. Maybe Kara’s already with Lena. It was a near miss; surely Kara would want to comfort and fuss over Lena the way she usually does whenever Alex gets hurt on the job.

She tries not to ruminate on the surge of jealousy she feels at the very thought. Lena went through something frightening. Of course her best friend should be there for her.

Reports of what happened are already all over the news. Every channel is either speculative gossip or a nineties sitcom that Alex just doesn’t feel like indulging. She turns to Netflix instead, picking up where she left off on her umpteenth rewatch of _ Person of Interest_. She settles in with a bag of chips and two beers and barely notices when night has fallen around her.

Until a tapping noise coming from behind her catches her attention. She’s mildly buzzed at best. There’s no way she’s imagining that, and there’s no chance she’s ignoring it either.

Instinctively, she reaches into the drawer on the coffee table for her gun before heading toward the window. It could be a particularly insistent animal or a tree branch, but she doesn’t plan to take that risk. She takes a slow breath to steady herself, then pulls back the curtain with her free hand.

Supergirl is standing on her balcony. She smiles shyly and raises one hand in a tentative wave.

Alex stares for a second, stunned. Then she opens the window.

“Director Danvers. Hi,” Supergirl starts, her tone cautious. She hesitates for a moment, as if expecting a response, but Alex only raises a brow in vague acknowledgment. 

“Um.” Supergirl’s head tilts, blonde hair falling over her shoulder. Not a strand out of place. Alex finds herself irrationally annoyed by the sight. The fact that Supergirl can fly at high velocities and still maintain perfect hair is such a joke. Alex watches warily as Supergirl tugs at the fabric of her suit cuff before taking a breath.

“I-Is it okay if I come in?” Supergirl asks, earnest intent coloring her tone.

“I didn’t know you knew where I lived,” Alex comments. She’s not sure how to feel about that, but she steps aside anyway.

“Oh. Well.” Supergirl floats inside after her, shrugging once her feet touch the floor. She looks bashful, her cheeks only a shade shy of the color of her cape. “I needed to talk to you so I asked Kara for your address. I hope that’s alright.”

Alex’s lips thin out as she turns to put her gun away. It’s really _ not _okay and she’ll have to discuss boundaries with her sister next time she sees her. But there’s nothing she can do about it now. Admittedly, Alex is curious to hear what was so important that the Girl of Steel couldn’t have waited to address her in a more appropriate setting.

“It’s…fine,” Alex finally settles on. She turns towards Supergirl, crossing her arms as she leans against the back of the couch. “What can I do for you, Supergirl?”

Supergirl frowns, seemingly displeased with Alex’s attitude, but it vanishes nearly as quickly as it appears. She places her hands on her hips and lifts those bright blue eyes to meet Alex’s gaze steadily.

_ God, she could be Kara’s twin, _ Alex notes. It’s striking in the moment, but Alex shoves the thought aside. There are similarities, sure, but they’re not the same. That alcohol must have gotten to her more than she’d realized.

“I saw you at the hotel today. With Ms. Luthor,” Supergirl says slowly. Alex isn’t sure what to make of her tone. It doesn’t have any particular inflection or another, which only serves to spark Alex’s suspicion.

“And?” she questions, a bit harshly. Her jaw tightens and she moves her hands back to grip the couch. Her knuckles strain around the fabric.

Supergirl looks mildly taken aback. “I just didn’t expect to see you there.”

“Lena’s a friend. She’s Kara’s _ best _ friend. I’m sure you know that.” Supergirl shifts uncomfortably, but she nods her head in agreement. “I heard about the incident on one of the DEO’s police scanners and went to check in. ”

“Right. Of course. I guess I didn’t realize you cared,” Supergirl says quietly. “Please don’t take this as some sort of accusation, Director. I’m just protective of Lena. She’s a good friend.”

“I noticed,” Alex replies coolly. Silence falls between them but neither move to disengage. They stare at each other, and Alex easily reads the guilt and pain and uncertainty in Supergirl’s eyes.

Alex fights against the remark on the tip of her tongue. It doesn’t matter. She shouldn’t care. Supergirl is nothing to her. A former colleague and barely that now. 

But she can’t seem to help herself.

“I didn’t think you even realized I was there.” 

Supergirl’s eyebrows nearly meet her hairline when Alex speaks.

“I mean, you had more important things to focus on.”

She realizes it was a mistake the second she finishes. A flush of embarrassment goes through her. She feels exposed. Vulnerable. And the way Supergirl looks at her now — brows furrowed, lips pressed together, eyes dark with concern — makes her feel cold.

Her hold on the top of the couch loosens as she swallows, humiliation tight in her chest. “Listen, I didn’t—”

“_Alex_,” Supergirl cuts her off firmly, stepping into her space. “You _ are _ important to me. I care about you _ so _much. How can you— Haven’t I shown you that?”

Alex feels embarrassed heat all the way up to her ears. She shrugs a shoulder, ducks her head, and rubs a palm roughly against her reddened cheek. She knows she’s being ridiculous. Letting petty jealousy get the best of her. Supergirl is a good person. A hero. She’s rescued countless people from dangerous situations at this point. Alex is no different. So why does it bother her so damn much? 

Gentle fingers curl around her wrist and pull her hand away. Alex’s attention returns to Supergirl. She’s gotten closer. There’s hardly any space between them. Alex is seized with the sudden urge to hug the hero, but she stamps it down. Must be Kara’s influence.

“I care about Lena. But…” Supergirl meets Alex’s gaze intently and threads her fingers through Alex’s, squeezing softly. “It doesn’t measure up. I—” She pauses, her entire expression softening. “There’s something special about you, Alex. I’ve known that ever since we first met.”

Supergirl’s free hand trails down Alex’s cheek and Alex melts. The deeply ingrained instinct to recoil from such a strangely intimate touch never surfaces. If anything, Alex finds herself leaning in closer. Wanting to feel more.

But the most pathetic part is when she says, “Really?” Her voice is breathy and awestruck and her eyes flutter shut halfway. She’s never felt more like a purring omega stereotype than she does now.

Supergirl just grins, nods, and closes a little more distance between them. There aren’t more than three inches between them now. The air suddenly feels thick with a mix of pheromones, the strongest of which is the alpha’s call to submit. Alex melts even more, and Supergirl’s hand tightens around her chin.

Then a siren sounds through the window and the spell is broken.

Supergirl jolts backward like she’s been thrown. Alex stares after her blankly, shaking her head in an attempt to clear her foggy mind. Her body aches, crying for the potential fulfillment that’s been ripped away so abruptly.

“Fire. Um, downtown. Apartment building.” Supergirl flashes a smile, its brightness marred by obvious discomfort, and smooths a hand down her stomach. “I should go, b-but I’ll see you! Soon, probably!”

Alex opens her mouth but before a word leaves her, Supergirl escapes through the open window, Alex’s curtains fluttering behind her.

**X**

Kara heaves as she leans against a brick wall, open palm covering her mouth. There’s a sting to her eyes where heat gathers and glows. A curl to her stomach as she sinks to her knees. 

Her fingers dig into the solid foundation as she takes shallow breaths, attempting to still her racing heart. Out of all the things that could have happened, Kara would not have expected this. There’s no denying the reality of the madness she’s wrought. It’s as clear as the ache in her groin. The swelling in the seams of her skirt. 

Her alpha whines piteously, a simpering sound. A whimper at being denied. Alex was ready for her. Alex is _ still _ ready for her. Primed for taking. Willing to submit. No safeguard with her memories displaced. She can scent her sister even now, despite the considerable distance.

How far would things have gone had she not left? Kara finds herself unnerved by how easily she tends to sway under the influx of omega pheromones. How quick she is to surrender at the prospect of claiming what she’s always wanted to be hers. 

A swell of bitterness and guilt course through her. Kara longs for the simplicity of lesser days.

Kara bites her lip and turns to press along the wall. She knocks her head back, leaving a small indentation. Signs of a collapse. She runs a shaky palm over her skirt, a low groan escaping her. A throb in her hand. She swallows. 

Perhaps it would be better to stay away.


	4. Chapter 4

A week passes with no sign of Supergirl.

To be fair, it’s a rather quiet week. Alex doesn’t trust the quiet, too suspicious by nature to think it means everything is sunshine and rainbows. But she’s learned by now that looking for trouble never serves her well. So she stays put. Waits it out. This job is never slow for long, especially not in the current political climate.

Alex spends the week putting the newest crop of junior agents through their paces. She enjoys it, always has, particularly when she needs a distraction. And right now, the…_incident _ with Supergirl is pervasive, like an infection that she can’t seem to shake. For a little while, at least, kicking a particularly cocky young alpha’s ass to the ground keeps it all at bay.

But as is her way, her _ curse_, it keeps coming back. She can’t leave well enough alone. She can’t leave a puzzle unsolved. She can’t abide the notion that Supergirl might simply be beyond her. It frustrates her that she can’t seem to figure the alpha out. Every time she feels like she might have a clue, something changes again, and Alex feels _ insane_.

The last time they saw one another, she was sure something was going to happen. Her body, traitor that it is, was _ ready_. Supergirl was touching her, so close Alex could shut her eyes now and remember warm breath against her face. She had fallen into it, leaned closer, yearned for Supergirl to take what her omega was willingly offering up.

Supergirl wanted her too. Alex was sure of that. She had felt her responding, had seen the desire darkening blue eyes. Were it not for that fire, Alex is certain they would have given in. The very thought makes her throb with want. The pang of disappointment she’d felt when Supergirl fled hadn’t dwindled until she’d polished off the last of her bottle of scotch and passed out in bed.

Unfortunately, drowning out her feelings with alcohol isn’t a long-term sustainable plan. It’s an easy habit to fall back on, but it isn’t doing her any good. Whether she likes it or not, there _ are _ some sort of feelings there and she needs to parse through them. She spent too much of her life suppressing herself, and she won’t do that anymore.

When late afternoon rolls around, Alex leaves her office full of endless paperwork. She needs to be somewhere she can clear her mind and think this through properly. Only one place comes to mind. She changes out of her uniform and into workout gear before heading down to the training room. After clearing out the few agents lingering about and locking down permissions to enter, she wraps her knuckles and steps up to a particularly sturdy punching bag.

It helps to work through the same drills she’s been pounding the trainees with this week. The motions are muscle memory, repetitive and soothing, and will keep her mind from wandering.

Alex likes women who are soft but not pushovers, who can hold their own and challenge her enough to keep her interested. Maggie and Sam are proof of that. Even Kara tends not to give in to her and let herself be steamrolled.

She likes Supergirl. Cares about her. Cares about what she thinks. That’s become abundantly clear to her lately. While her memories of their time working together are fuzzy around the edges, she does know that they always work well together. And of course Supergirl is incredibly beautiful. Kryptonian genes are some kind of marvel; Alex can’t think of a single instance where the hero has looked anything less than perfect, even covered in blood and dirt.

And she can’t deny the way Supergirl keeps coming back to her is appealing. The way she insists she cares about Alex. That she’s special. Alex has been outright hostile to her and Supergirl takes it on the chin every time without complaint. Her omega certainly appreciates that kind of dedication, practically preening every time Supergirl comes near. 

It’s…_exciting_.

Alex can admit that part of the appeal of working for the DEO is the thrill she gets being in the field. It’s a good part of the reason she hasn’t dialed back how often she goes out. She’s doing good, helping people, keeping National City safe, but it’s also a high for her. She’s always been something of an adrenaline junkie.

This is a different kind of excitement. The kind she doesn’t feel often. True sexual attraction still feels new to her sometimes. Wanting someone because she _ desires _ them is nowhere near the same as wanting something because her biology demands satiation. And she’s spent most of her life so far with the latter.

It’s nice to feel this way again for someone appropriate. Supergirl is an enigma, but she’s sweet, brave, considerate, and very, very easy on the eyes. Alex would never have entertained letting something happen before, but there’s no good reason she needs to stay away now. Supergirl was dismissed from the DEO and her relationship with Sam is long over. Her personal life is hers; she can fuck whoever she wants and she is _ weak _ for the Kryptonian alpha.

Eventually, her muscles ache and her lungs burn in that bordering-on-pleasurable way they do when she gets in a good workout. 

She lands one last kick on the punching bag and stops. Her hands drop to her side and she flexes them while she tries to slow her heavy breathing.

Silently, she makes her decision. Alex was never one for patience when it came to the things she wants. She eyes her signal watch for a moment before shaking her head. It wouldn’t be right to use the thing Supergirl gave her in case of emergencies for something like this. She’ll just have to wait for the next time they see each other. A sliver of nervous excitement goes through her at the prospect of telling Supergirl how she feels. The worst that can happen is she’s refused and her ego takes a hit — a possibility she’s hoping to avoid. But she has to take a chance or she’ll never know.

She takes a quick shower in her private bathroom and is back in her office barely two minutes when the notification comes through. Loose Maaldorian in the warehouse district. Immediate capture necessary.

Alex sighs, a pang of disappointment tightening her chest. 

The conversation with Supergirl will have to wait.

**X**

There’s an incident in a warehouse twenty blocks south of her apartment. A bit of a struggle between herself and a stray Maaldorian. Well, herself, the Maaldorian, and Alex. 

Kara eyes her sister warily, her mouth forming a muted line. Alex had thought it wise to confront the Maaldorian without proper backup. She had arrived just in time to stop her sister from being kidnapped. A horrifying prospect. Rage inducing. Kara had snarled as she landed, telling Alex to run as soon as she got clear. Of course her sister, stubborn as always, had ignored the demand. Had even gone as far as to insert herself in the middle of the fight when she had seen Kara go down. 

Though not the first time Alex had jumped in between Kara and danger, the reasoning behind it is now born of cynicism, not love.

_ How would the country cope in this time of strife if Supergirl were to die? _Alex had asked her one time. Kara closes her eyes. It’s a scenario she hopes to never play out.

“Contain the hostile in Interrogation Room G until further notice, Holt,” Alex orders as she taps on the screen of her tablet absently, signing off on the final transport. “I’ll check in on our Maaldorian friend when I return to the office.” She hands the tablet to a member of her team. “In the meantime, Delta Squad, clear out.” Alex motions forward with two fingers. “Decker, I want that mission report on my desk by 2.” 

“Yes, Director.”

Kara waits until the last of the DEO agents file out of the warehouse before returning her focus to Alex. Her brows furrow as she takes Alex in, noting the various cuts and scrapes her sister had managed to amass in a matter of moments. She had thought the Director position would mean less time in the field, but Alex is as active as ever. More so than that. The mindwipe has made Alex restless. Sloppy even. The mistakes Alex had made the last few weeks are concerning. Kara makes a mental note to check in with J’onn and Brainy about the unforeseen side effects.

Once they’re completely alone, Alex turns to Kara with an unhappy expression. “What part of _ make yourself scarce _ was difficult to understand, Supergirl?” Alex demands, frustration bleeding into her voice. “You know you can’t just do whatever you want anymore. We’ve had this conversation before.”

_ Oh, boy. _Kara has to remind herself to stay calm. Back straight, stance strong. A picture of resolve. It’s difficult to pretend that her sister’s annoyance doesn’t hurt. Irritating, really. The last thing she wants to do is fight, but Alex’s nature has always tended to veer towards stubborn.

“That we have, Director,” Kara agrees easily enough, allowing the few inches of height she has on her sister to give her confidence. She meets Alex’s stare resolutely. “But also as stated before, you don’t actually have any authority over my actions.” 

There’s a slight twitch to Alex’s brow. A hint of exasperation enters dark eyes, though Alex’s face otherwise remains impassive. Oddly, Kara finds herself amused by the sight. Director Danvers may think herself an enigma, but Kara can still read all of her sister’s tells. The corners of her mouth draw up into a pleased smile.

Alex notices the change immediately and doesn’t seem to particularly share in her amusement. The annoyance shifts to ire as quick as a lit match. “Arrogance tends to clash with the blue and red, Supergirl,” Alex hisses through gritted teeth. “Maybe try something less bright.”

The jab wipes the smirk clean off her face. She’s reminded of Lena’s words to her at the peak of their lies, acerbic in their bite. _ God complex. _ She shies away from the thought. Must she bend to the will of others in fear of baseless accusations? Kara scowls in response. 

“I’d try black, but you seem to hold the monopoly on that.” Kara huffs, annoyance tightening her frame. “Maybe consider taking your own advice, Director.”

“I had it covered—”

“You did _ not _ have it covered,” Kara cuts in, jaw clenching. She hates when Alex does this, hates how close she comes to losing her sister on a weekly basis. “He was going to _ take _ you, Alex. Sell you for the equivalent of pennies.” She growls, baring her teeth at the thought. “Do you have any idea what they do to human omegas on the slavers market?” 

Though it’s subtle, Kara manages to catch Alex’s slight flinch from the corner of her eye. She blinks, guilt churning in her stomach at the sight. Kara takes a breath as she steps back. How many times must she make the same mistake before she learns? The lack of control is the very reason she had avoided Alex in the first place.

Eyes lowering, Kara swallows and looks away. “Dislike me if you must, but do not begrudge me for my concern. I’ll take arrogant over you getting hurt any day.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath after that. An uptick to Alex’s heart. She’s said too much. Always. There’s no reign to her emotions. Kara squeezes the space between her eyes and turns, feeling the need to hide. Takes another breath to compose herself before speaking. 

“Regardless,” she continues, playing with the ends of her cape in a show of nonchalance. “Perhaps I will invest in a darker color palette.” Kara inclines her head over in Alex’s direction with a slight grin. “Any suggestions?”

She’s met with silence. Kara’s smile eases into a subdued line as a note of conflict shades her sister’s expression. 

“I—” Alex steps forward then, occupying Kara’s space completely. Kara’s eyes widen in surprise when Alex reaches over to set a palm on her arm. “I don’t dislike you, Supergirl,” Alex tentatively admits, glancing up to meet Kara’s gaze. “I couldn’t.” 

Kara swallows again, confused and anxious as she scents an influx of omega pheromones in the air. She regards her sister carefully. “Could’ve fooled me,” Kara jokes, voice strained. 

Alex grimaces at that but it doesn’t stop her from moving closer. “I know I’ve never been the most forthcoming with my emotions, but…” Alex trails off then, leaning forward to wrap both arms around Kara’s neck. “I care about you.”

Kara’s heart jumps up in her throat at the unexpected words. It had been so long since Alex had shown this kind of intentional vulnerability to her Supergirl persona. She finds herself sinking into the moment eagerly as she slides an open palm up along Alex’s back to hold her sister in place.

“I’m glad,” she murmurs, drawing Alex even closer. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you hating me.”

They stay wrapped up around one another for several long moments. When Alex goes to break the hug, Kara reluctantly loosens her hold to allow the motion. She casts her gaze over Alex intently, watching in interest as her sister chews on her bottom lip. 

Kara’s mouth parts to speak, but she finds herself faltering at the sudden feeling of soft lips on hers. 

Something inside her splinters as warmth spreads through her, descending into the hollows of her bones. Kara groans low in her throat as she draws a hand to the back of Alex’s neck and applies a gentle pressure to Alex’s pulse point. She swallows the small whimper her sister releases in response. 

A pleased growl rumbles in her chest as Alex softens against her. She feels herself start to harden as the instinct to claim once again takes hold. 

The beeping of a device cuts through the haze. Kara’s eyes flutter open at the sound, annoyance pinching her features. Her brows furrow in displeasure when Alex pulls away. 

Alex inhales shakily as she looks down at her phone. “Damn it.” She huffs, frowning at the display. “There’s an issue with transport at the DEO.” She chews on her bottom lip for a moment before peering back up at Kara from through pretty lashes. “I have to go.” Her words drip with regret. Alex’s palms slide along the tops of Kara’s shoulders as Kara gently lowers her back to the ground. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to just spring this on you—”

“No, it’s—it’s fine, Alex.” Kara quickly interrupts. She’s relieved that her voice doesn’t sound nearly as shaken as she feels and tries for what she hopes is a genuine smile. “You should go.”

Alex regards her guardedly for a moment. Delicate fingers play with the hair at the nape of Kara’s neck before they drift down. A slow flush spreads along pale cheeks. “It—it’s not just me, right?” Alex’s voice is small as she asks. “You want this too?”

Insecurity plagues the question and Kara finds herself softening at the sound. For a moment, the anxiety and shame fades until all that’s left is the affection she always feels for Alex. She knows what she should say. She knows what she should _ do _ and yet… 

“Yeah, Alex,” she quietly answers, unable to find it in her to lie in the face of her sister’s sincerity. “I want it too.”

**X**

By the time Kara makes it home, she’s nearly hyperventilating. She’s not sure how she managed to keep her cool throughout that whole encounter, but it’s gone now. Panic causes her heart to race.

What has she done? She can’t do this! But it’s no one’s fault but her own. She was the one who followed Alex so persistently, who told Alex she _ cared _ about her, who had almost _ kissed _ her last week.

_ Rao. _ She’s an idiot. She should have stayed away. She should have kept any interaction with Alex strictly professional and kept an appropriate distance. But she couldn’t help herself! What if Alex had gotten hurt? The DEO refused to associate with her, so she had to be more vigilant in order to keep Alex safe. She had to step in whenever Alex was in over her head. She had to be sure Alex was okay in the field even without her presence a known constant. 

Kara feels sick with worry. _ Always. _But now she’s sick for another reason. Since when did fear and concern translate into _ this? _

_ Selfish, selfish, selfish. _

Alex would have _ never _ propositioned her if she knew who Supergirl was because Alex doesn’t feel that way about _ Kara_. And Kara knows that. There’s a boundary between them, a solid black line etched in the middle of the road titled _ Do Not Cross. _A truth that lies unspoken.

No matter how much she may want it, Kara _ can’t _be with Alex as Supergirl. She just can’t. Not without giving herself as Kara, too.

She puts a pizza in the oven, cooking it the old-fashioned way because her hunger isn’t urgent. What’s urgent is getting whatever she’s gotten herself into with Alex sorted out.

The best way she can think to organize her thoughts is to write them down. And once she gets it figured out, she’ll have a meat-lovers pizza waiting for her as a reward.

It takes her a few minutes to scrounge up an old notebook but she soon finds one wedged behind her dresser, probably dropped a long time ago. She settles down on the couch and flips to the middle of the book, smoothing her hand over the fresh page. She grabs a stray pen off the coffee table, taps it against her lips thoughtfully, and slowly begins to write.

**X**

Alex’s frustrations at the DEO are forgotten as soon as she steps through her front door later that evening. Her thoughts are instead consumed with Supergirl and what happened between them earlier that afternoon.

Her crush is requited; Supergirl had confirmed she was interested in Alex too. They hadn’t gotten a chance to go into much detail, but just the knowledge that she’s not alone in this, that it’s not a misunderstanding or a fluke of some kind, makes her feel a little lighter. The weight is not just hers.

The only problem is she doesn’t know when she’ll see Supergirl next. She has the signal watch, but this is hardly the occasion to use it. She’d already gotten enough reproving looks from the hero lately for daring to do her job; she didn’t want to offer any reason for another lecture, no matter how valid Supergirl’s concerns may be. She would just have to wait for Supergirl to come to her, even if that meant she waited another week before seeing her.

Her stomach growls, so once she’s hung up her keys and her jacket, she heads into the kitchen. She examines the contents of her freezer and realizes that she’s woefully low on just about everything. But there are still a few microwavable meals sitting on the lowest shelf, so she grabs one labeled chicken fried rice and tears the box open.

She’s just put the meal in the microwave when her phone starts ringing and she pulls it from her back pocket. Her heart clenches when she sees her sister’s smiling face looking up at her and she accepts the call, bringing it to her ear.

“Hey, stranger.” Alex leans back against the kitchen island, tucking her free hand in her front jeans pocket. “It’s been a while.” She hasn’t seen Kara since before Supergirl’s disappearing act, and the only communication has been sporadic texts on both ends. Kara just seems busier lately. Maybe that’s why it’s been so easy for Alex to lose herself in whatever this is with Supergirl.

_ “Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” _ Kara sighs. _ “Been helping Lena out with a project. Also things at CatCo have been a little insane. And, you know, I’ve just been busy.” _

It’s an excuse. A lame excuse. They both know that. Kara has been off for weeks and she doesn’t seem to be getting any better. She’s definitely not sharing whatever it is that’s going on with Alex. Usually, Alex can’t get her sister to stop talking. Now, for the first time in a long time, she can’t get a word out of her.

“I’m sure." Alex’s eyes narrow a tad. "How’s Lena?”

_“Lena? Oh, she’s fine._ _I don’t even think she gets scared when her life’s in danger anymore. Which is kind of scary in itself.”_ Alex can hear the fond exasperation in her sister’s voice and finds herself tensing. She really does like Lena, but the way both Kara and Supergirl dote over her stokes the jealousy inside.

“Hm.” The microwave starts to beep and Alex sets down her phone, putting it on speaker. “What else is going on?” she questions, raising her voice a little to be sure she’s heard while she gets her food together.

_ “Just miss you. A lot. Come over soon? I feel like I don’t know anything that’s going on with you.” _

“I know, Kara,” Alex sighs. She circles the island and pulls out one of the stools, drawing the food toward her. “Maybe this weekend? There is something I wanted to tell you.”

_ “Really? What is it?” _

“Well…there might be a girl,” Alex admits. Her cheeks feel hot as she picks up a forkful of food. “I don’t know anything for sure yet, so no freaking out, okay?”

Silence greets her. She taps the phone, brows furrowed, checking to see if they’re still connected. Kara has been her biggest cheerleader since she came out. The lack of response isn’t like her.

“Kara?”

_ “Sorry. I’m here. That’s great, Lexie. Good for you.” _ Kara’s voice is unusually quiet, and the enthusiasm Alex had gotten used to hearing since she’d started dating again is totally absent. _ “I’m actually right in the middle of working on an article. Why don’t you just come over Saturday, okay? We’ll have the day together.” _

Alex nods, pushing her food around in its box. “Sounds good,” she says. “I’ll bring breakfast. Noonan’s?”

_ “Perfect,” _ Kara agrees, her voice a little softer. _ “I love you.” _

Alex feels her heart flutter like it always does for Kara. The aggravation she feels toward her sister ebbs a bit. She can never stay angry with her for very long. She just doesn’t understand why Kara’s been so unlike herself lately, why she won’t open up and talk, and she can’t help but worry.

“I love you too, kid.”


	5. Chapter 5

Kara doesn’t have time to see Alex again until the next evening. Thankfully, her reeling mind has calmed and she’s set in her decision. Kara has to be the strong one in this. It hurts like hell to have what she wants within her grasp and have to let it go. But it’s for the best. She’ll just have to keep her distance from now on. 

Alex is less surprised when Kara lands on the small balcony outside her window this time. There’s no gun in her hand when she draws back the curtain and opens the window. She even smiles at Kara tentatively, and already, Kara feels like a jerk. Alex took a chance expressing her feelings to Supergirl yesterday and now Kara is here to crush her hopes. It’s not a position she enjoys being in. 

Kara looks Alex over a moment, noting with a small grimace that the sweater that her sister is wearing belongs to her. A subconscious instinct for comfort, perhaps? Alex only nests in Kara’s possessions when the time they’ve spent apart is substantial enough to call for it. Great. Another way she feels like a jerk. She’s been so inattentive lately. Maybe she should focus on being a better sister to Alex instead of indulging in her childish wants.

It only takes a second or two before Alex realizes Kara’s enthusiasm isn’t at the same level as her own. Her expression turns concerned, and she reaches out to place a hand on Kara’s arm. Kara doesn’t push her away, but her lips press into a frown and her eyebrows bunch together.

“Okay, what’s up?” Alex questions with a sigh. “Is something wrong? You seem off.”

There it is. The perfect opening. She can say her piece, shatter Alex’s hopes, and then leave. Because that’s going to feel _ great_. She takes a breath before placing her hands on her hips, gently dislodging Alex’s grip.

“It’s not safe for you to be with me.” It’s a statement, strong and sure. It _ isn’t _ safe for Alex to be with her. It never really has been. Given the circumstances, though, being with Alex sexually, romantically, _ whichever_, is even riskier. But it’s less the physicality than it is the emotional devastation that would occur if she were to pursue a relationship with her sister. Rao, her _ sister. _Her throat hitches at the thought. 

“Less safe than my actual job?” Alex counters dryly. Kara falls silent at that. That’s all she’s got, really. The only excuse she can think of that won’t reveal her secret. Kara wracks her brain as she tries to think of something else to say.

“That’s—that’s different?” It’s posed as more of a question than anything. “If my enemies were to find out about you—”

“You kissed me back,” Alex quietly interrupts, crossing her arms as if to shield herself from potential hurt. “You pulled me closer.”

Kara shifts in her stance awkwardly, unable to deny the truth behind the claim. Alex had always been the one thing in her life she was allowed to be selfish with, but not like this. _ Never _ like this. She struggles to reconcile justifying what she wants versus upholding what’s right. The lack of control is concerning. 

After a long moment, Alex visibly deflates. “You didn’t have to lie,” she whispers. Kara’s eyes widen at the defeat she can hear in Alex’s tone. “I’m a big girl, Supergirl. I can handle the truth.” She grits her teeth. “You could have just told me you don’t like me like that.” Alex’s voice breaks a little at the end. 

“_Rao_, Alex. It’s not that. It’s not that at all.” Kara closes her eyes, breathing through her nose. “You have no idea how much I—” She swallows, stepping closer. The anxiety and hurt that pours out of Alex makes her heart ache. “My beautiful, brave girl,” Kara whispers, gingerly cupping Alex’s cheek. She strokes her thumb along Alex’s bottom lip with a frown, wondering if there’s anything she can say that will make this right.

Tears well up in Alex’s eyes as they darken in pain. “That’s not fair, Supergirl. You can’t just say things like that after telling me we can’t be together.”

Kara grimaces because Alex is _ right_. Nothing about this situation is fair. 

She casts her gaze down as her palm falls to her side. “I know.” She agrees in a despondent tone, crossing her arms as she takes a step back. She wants to explain, needs Alex to see where she’s coming from. Even if it’s all surface level. She straightens after a beat and returns her eyes to her sisters tentatively.

What could a sliver of truth hurt? 

“You have to understand, Alex. It wouldn’t be right to start something when—when you don’t know who I am. _ Can’t _ know who I am.”

“Then don’t tell me.” Alex is quick to reply. “I know things are difficult with Haley and the DEO, but it won’t always be this way.”

A flicker of confusion goes through her and she narrows her gaze as she regards her sister thoughtfully. She’s a bit surprised Alex is still pushing the topic. Her sister has never been one to go down without a fight — although she’s had times a push is necessary before she gets there — but given her hot-and-cold behavior with Supergirl lately, Kara had expected cold, angry Alex instead of this sad, almost desperate one.

Her sister has a point too. The DEO may not always be the obstacle it is right now. Kara’s hopes to alleviate the anti-alien outcry may have diminished, but they haven’t disappeared. 

She’s still holding on to the fragment of a chance left that attitudes will change again. The flames being fanned could still be put out. But even if that happens, it doesn’t change the most heartbreaking part of it all. Alex doesn’t know her. Supergirl and Kara are two completely different people to her, and as far as Kara knows, there’s no fixing that. The reason J’onn is generally so against altering memories this way is because it’s permanent and it affects people. It’s affecting Alex now, even if she doesn’t know it.

“I just don’t think—”

“Do you like me?” Alex interjects, her face carefully blank. Kara opens her mouth to respond but Alex jumps in again first. “Yes or no answers only.”

A faint smile tugs on Kara’s lips. “Of course I do,” she murmurs. “_Yes. _ Very, very much so.”

Alex smiles and her cheeks warm, coloring pink. It isn’t hard to tell how pleased she is by Kara’s answer, and she seems to trust that it’s the truth. Which is nice. Kara much prefers happy Alex to sad Alex. Her defenses falter, just a bit. 

“Then I don’t see what the problem is.” Alex continues, drawing her fingers along the back of her couch as she walks towards Kara. “My personal life is my personal life, so the DEO isn’t a concern. I’m not asking for a serious commitment here, Supergirl. I’m not looking for a bondmate. I like you and…you like me.” Alex steps in closer, placing her hands on Kara’s shoulders and looking intently into her eyes. “Why shouldn’t we be allowed to explore that?”

Kara pauses as she considers her sister’s words. There’s an appeal to Alex wanting her enough to beg for it. Her reasons for saying no are rapidly deteriorating. She exhales a shaky breath as she sets a palm on Alex’s waist, her fingers splaying out possessively. She should stop. She _ knows _ she should stop, but it’s like her body is on autopilot, working purely on instinct. 

Her grip shifts as she goes to wrap her arms around Alex’s waist and set their foreheads together. The small purr that escapes Alex at the proximity shoots right down to Kara’s groin, urging her forward. It should be the shock she needs to pull away, to snap back to what she’s come here to do, but she stays.

She shakes her head fondly and an amused chuckle escapes her lips. “Has anyone ever told you,” she begins lowly, “that you’re too smart for your own good, Director Danvers?”

Alex breathes out a chuckle of her own, both hands moving to grasp the back of Kara’s neck now. “Yeah, actually. All the time,” she murmurs, leaning up to crush her lips against Kara’s.

Kara knows in her logical mind she shouldn’t be letting this happen. She’s digging her own grave right now, making one of the worst mistakes she can possibly make. She’s taking advantage of her sister, who has no true idea what she’s asking for with her memories altered. But she _ loves _Alex, and this is like a dream come true. It’s not ideal, no. It’s half of what she’s always wanted at best, but she’s only human!

Well, alien. But still. Her body may be made of steel on this planet, but her willpower is a much more bendable material.

Omega pheromones hit her hard, seeping into every inch of her being, clouding her mind in milliseconds. The beast inside her comes alive, and she growls against Alex’s mouth, lowering her hands to hoist Alex into her arms. Kara carries her up the small set of steps into the raised bedroom and lays Alex gently on her back.

They part a moment so Alex can pull her sweater over her shoulders and toss it onto the bed before urging Kara closer once more. A heady feeling goes through her at how easily Alex sinks and folds into her frame. Kara’s still mindful enough to be careful, sure not to drop her full weight, to keep her touches at a normal pressure, her kisses deep but even and gentle. She’s already delving into dangerous territory, but she’ll be damned if she hurts Alex in the process.

When Alex absolutely cannot go on without recovering her breath, Kara turns to trail heated kisses along her neck. This is what she’s wanted, all this time. To have Alex beneath her, wanting her, and only her. Elated, she leans up to press their lips together once more. An ache goes through her at the way Alex’s legs rise to accommodate her further. Of course Alex isn’t one to stay docile, even like this. “Off,” Alex murmurs between kisses, tugging insistently at her cape.

She obeys without question. She strips down to only her bra and boxers in an instant, discarding her supersuit on the floor before rejoining Alex in bed. She startles when she realizes Alex is laughing. 

Kara eases back, a sliver of insecurity going through her. She has some sexual experience and she’s fairly confident in what she has to give, but getting laughed at when she’s one step away from being naked still sparks feelings of inadequacy. She starts to turn away, crestfallen, but then the laughter stops and firm hands urge her to keep her still.

“I’m sorry,” Alex says in a breathy chuckle, a fond smile lifting her lips. “I wasn’t laughing at you, I promise. It’s just nice.” She pauses a moment, her eyes aglow with affection. “Seeing that you want this as much as I do. You’re _ so _ beautiful.” Alex cups her cheek tenderly. “And I _ love _ the enthusiasm, but I think we’re kinda uneven now, aren’t we?” That touch of uncertainty Kara feels evaporates at the desire she can see so plainly in Alex’s eyes. 

Kara smiles broadly, quickly realizing just what Alex is implying. “I think I can fix that,” she replies confidently. She leans in for another kiss and hooks her fingers into the waist of Alex’s sweatpants. She looks up to make sure it’s alright and at Alex’s small nod, she starts coaxing them down Alex’s hips, breaking away only when she can no longer reach without straining. Alex lifts her hips to help her and she drops the material on top of her discarded super suit in no time.

Her nostrils flare when the scent of Alex’s arousal reaches her nose. Heat burns behind her eyes, and she has to blink a couple of times to keep her heat vision under control. With Alex’s sweats gone and the barrier between them far less, the intoxicating scent is stronger, and it’s having its desired effect. On top of the potency of the omega pheromones engulfing her, it’s really a wonder Kara’s still coherent at all. But she has to be. She has to do this right, has to keep her wits about her so she doesn’t lose herself completely.

Kara runs her hands over the freshly exposed skin, parting Alex’s legs further open and slotting herself between them. She trails her fingers down Alex’s inner thigh, skimming through wetness. Alex’s panties are already _ soaked_, and Kara can’t help but lick her lips, her cock twitching. She’s sure she has a pretty noticeable wet spot of her own right now. Her bulge is prominent, her erection already throbbing eagerly at the very thought of being buried inside the woman she loves. It feels like she could come just from having this much of Alex open to her, beneath her and wanting her. Completely at her mercy like a proper omega.

But there are still a few obstacles to take care of first.

Kara kisses her way up Alex’s bare belly, resting her chin lightly against her breastbone and gazing up at her. She plucks at the collar of Alex’s t-shirt with two fingers, considering it, before she asks, “You’re not super attached to this, are you?”

Alex’s eyes darken and round near immediately, understanding dawning on her just as quickly as Kara would expect. She shakes her head, reaching down to brush her fingers through Kara’s hair, seemingly struck mute and overcome with desire. Kara can hear her heart racing, and she can’t help but smirk, brushing a kiss across the top of Alex’s breast. 

She isn’t surprised that something like this would turn Alex on. Kara exerts just a fraction of her strength to tear Alex’s shirt from her body, and a pretty groan falls from the omega’s parted lips. The sound reverberates through Kara, and she surges forward, taking Alex’s mouth hungrily again.

When they part for air again several long moments later, Kara has removed both of their bras and ripped Alex’s panties in half as well. She pushes up onto her knees to peel off her boxers and Alex whines at the loss of contact, a pitiful pout curling her mouth. A soft, possessive growl pushes out from Kara’s throat, a gentle reassurance, and Alex calms again.

Kara’s cock finally emerges, thick and red, pre-cum dripping from the tip, her balls heavy and full. It’s an honest-to-Rao miracle she hasn’t already come from the build-up of anticipation. She’s finally going to take what’s rightfully hers. Alex is beneath her, ready for her, whining for her, eager to be filled by the strongest alpha in the world. And Kara is ready to give it to her.

Alex swallows hard when she gets a look at Kara’s cock. Her heart pounds nervously, but after a moment, she licks her lips and reaches out. Kara goes to her eagerly, nuzzling into the bared side of her neck. Long fingers comb through her hair, and Alex’s hips cant upward, her wet pussy brushing against the underside of Kara’s cock, making her twitch.

“Is there something you want, Director?” Kara teases her lowly, sucking Alex’s earlobe between her lips.

“_You_,” Alex breathes. “Want you, Supergirl. Want your big cock inside me.”

“Yeah?” Kara hums, pretending to think about it. “But I wanted to go down on you first. You smell so fucking good…”

“_Later_,” Alex whimpers, the desperation in her voice undisguised. “Later, please. I-I need you now. I need you to _ fill _me.”

Kara grins, her heart pounding in excitement at how much Alex wants it. She grips her cock in one hand as she leans down to kiss Alex’s chin and drag the broad head through Alex’s puffy lower lips. Kara can’t help but moan when wetness coats the sensitive flesh. Alex is a veritable flood of arousal, and Kara doesn’t have it in her to wait much longer to get inside. Later, like Alex said. They have plenty of time.

She clears her throat. “Condoms?”

“Drawer.”

Kara clambers on top of her again, kissing her soundly before stretching her body out to open the nightstand’s drawer. With a little fumbling, she feels a box and grabs a handful of foil packets, returning triumphant with her prize for Alex to see. Alex huffs her amusement and clasps her hands against Kara’s cheeks.

“Yes, I see. Now are you gonna put one on and fuck me or what?”

“Bossy.” Kara gives a playful growl in return, but she pulls back to get on with it. They’re large, pre-lubed alpha condoms, but once she’s fully rolled one on, she realizes it’s still a little snug. Idly, Kara wonders if they’re leftovers from Maggie. A stroke of pride thrums through her when she realizes that means she’s _ bigger_.

“You’re so beautiful, Alex,” she murmurs reverently. “So beautiful, so _ perfect_.” An _ I love you _ is right on the tip of Kara’s tongue, but she bites it back, focusing instead on the enticing heat waiting for her.

She slips both hands under Alex’s hips and lifts, sliding a pillow beneath her for a little more leverage. She leans over and kisses Alex’s nose, one hand fisting her cock and positioning it at the omega’s entrance.

“Please, Supergirl. _ Please._” Alex’s arms wrap tightly around Kara’s neck, knees bracketing her hips. Kara leans their foreheads together and watches Alex’s face attentively as she _ finally _ starts to sink inside.

They moan together and Alex clutches Kara desperately when the head slips fully into her. She’s hot and wet and _ tight_, but there’s an ease with which she takes the next inch Kara pushes forward. Evidence that she isn’t the first here, the first to claim. And of course she _ knew _that, but the territorial alpha part of her still grumbles her disdain. Luckily, Alex only chuckles breathlessly and rolls her hips to encourage more.

The relief they both feel when Kara bottoms out, her tip bumping Alex’s cervix, is palpable. Alex cries out and comes immediately, inner walls squeezing around Kara’s length. A stroke of heat goes through Kara at the sight of Alex shaking and shivering her release.

_ I did that, _ Kara thinks with a fond smile. _ How can this be wrong? _

She stills while Alex recovers and adjusts to her size, aching to move, but more than willing to wait. She spends the time kissing away stray tears and nuzzling into Alex’s cheek until the spasms around her cock have calmed and Alex’s breathing is back in the normal range.

“Are you okay?” she asks, her voice tight with restraint. Her hips inch forward just a bit, unintentionally, and Alex gasps, her fingers digging into Kara’s shoulder blades.

“Y-yes! _ Yeah. _ I’m good. _ So _ good.” She crushes her lips against Kara’s for several long seconds and lifts her legs, wrapping them around Kara’s waist. “Please, _ move_. I need more, Supergirl.” She all but whines the words, dark eyes nearly black with lust. Kara has never felt so powerless to resist.

She starts tentatively, her thrusts slow and deep, driving all the way in on every stroke. She can feel every ridge of Alex’s walls wrapping around her cock every time she pushes inside, and it’s the most incredible sensation.

With every little sound of pleasure falling from the omega’s lips, her confidence grows and her control falters, the primal side of her beginning to take over. Her measured, careful strokes turn harder, rougher. Before long, she’s gripping Alex’s hips so tight that she knows she’s going to leave bruises and fucking into Alex’s soft pussy like she’s possessed, her balls slapping against the backs of Alex’s thighs.

“_Fuck. _ Fuck yeah, _ harder._” Alex cries out, arching up into her on every thrust. “Come on, Supergirl, _ give it to me_. I can take it,” Alex encourages her.

“Rao, _ Alex_,” Kara breathes. She’s practically drilling into Alex now, spurred on by her dirty demands. Her mind is murky at best, and what little focus she has left is spent desperately trying to keep from using all of her strength. 

Without realizing it, she finds herself employing some of her super speed to pick up the pace, wanting to fulfill Alex’s requests. Wanting to _ give it to her_. The bed squeaks under the force of her thrusts as moans and grunts reverberate through the room.

Kara had thought about sex with Alex several times, more so in their younger years. As a teenager, she’d imagined Alex like she’d imagine any stereotypical omega: submissive and whimpering beneath her, speaking only to beg her for her cum or to scream her name. As an adult, her few fantasies had become more tailored to Alex as she truly was, but she’d still never quite imagined this. She should have known better; her Alex is anything but a stereotype.

She barely even notices how close she is to the edge until it spikes low in her belly. Kara gasps and her fingers flex around Alex’s hips as she snaps into her jerkily.

“Oh _ Rao_, Alex, _ fuck_… I’m gonna—” Before another word can leave her, she’s crying out and burying her face in Alex’s sweaty neck. Pleasure pulses through her, her cock swelling as she releases into the condom. She can feel Alex’s pussy contracting around her and her fingers raking uselessly down Kara’s back. She’s panting into Kara’s ear, whimpering through her orgasm in the same instant.

When she starts to come down, slowly softening inside, she plants her forearms on either side of Alex’s body, keeping some of her weight off the omega when she settles against her. Kara lets her eyes fall closed, listening to Alex pant as she recovers, her heart stuttering faster than its normal rhythm.

“I think you fucking _ broke _ me,” Alex says a few quiet minutes later. Her voice is a little hoarse, and Kara can’t help the surge of pride she feels knowing she’s the reason.

Kara chuckles softly, lifting her head to kiss Alex’s closed eyelids. “So sweet,” she murmurs before lowering her fingers down to gently rub Alex’s swollen clit. She shudders when Alex’s pussy contracts around her unmoving cock, slowly milking it and adjusting to its girth as she starts to harden again.

She presses her lips against Alex’s. Her fingers grow slick as she brushes her thumb along the quivering, sensitive clit. Kara holds the back of Alex’s head and pushes her up and into the kiss, carefully sliding her tongue against Alex’s. They lose track of time between kisses.

“Mmm, Supergirl.” Alex’s arms slide around Kara’s neck, scratching along the back of it. Her hips roll in time with the soft swipes of Kara’s fingers against her clit. “I’m gonna come,” she whispers, breath warm on Kara’s mouth. “You’re gonna make me come again.”

“That’s it, good girl. Come for me.” Kara breaks away to trail kisses down Alex’s face. “Come on my cock.”

“Superg—” Alex sighs as she arches one more time, the walls of her pussy shuddering and squeezing the length inside her. She falls back into the bedding exhausted, her face red, cheeks wet, eyes glassy. Kara hums as she kisses Alex’s temple before pulling out, cock still hard as a rock and pulsing.

She lets Alex rest while she sits back and peels off the condom, tying it off and flicking it deftly into the trash can across the room. She tentatively wraps her hand around her erection, but her cheeks flame at the thought of jerking herself off right in front of Alex.

But she has to do _ something _ about it.

The bed shifts under her weight when she tries to get up. Her feet have barely touched the ground when a warm hand reaches out and grasps her elbow. Kara turns to Alex, surprised to see her this alert so soon after. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Kara smiles softly, crouching down to stroke Alex’s hair. “I thought I’d just take care of this in the shower. Let you recover a little bit.” She kisses Alex’s forehead, before leaning back to gaze at her with adoring eyes.

“Nope,” Alex says firmly. “I’m taking care of you. I _ want _to take care of you. There should be lube in the drawer. Grab it and come here.”

“Alex, you really don’t—” Kara cuts her own protests short when she sees that dangerous glint in dark eyes. She knows better than to argue with Alex when she has that look. So she does as she’s told, handing over the lube and laying down again on her side.

She’s pulled into a kiss immediately and sinks into it, her cock pressing tight against Alex’s belly while she’s distracted. Faintly, she hears a small snapping noise but pays it no mind when Alex’s tongue teases across her lips. It isn’t until a warm, slick hand wraps around her cock that she startles. But her gasp quickly gives way to a shaky moan and she pulls Alex impossibly closer, closing her eyes.

“You like that, huh?” Kara can hear the teasing in Alex’s voice even before she blinks her eyes open dazedly. All she can do is nod once, and Alex chuckles against her jaw, kissing the skin there. “I told you I would take care of you.”

Kara can’t argue that. Alex is definitely taking care of her. Her own hand would have sufficed, but this is a _ much _ better alternative. Alex’s palm is warm and calloused and sure, and it’s working for her. She feels seconds away from coming every time Alex’s fingers skim beneath the head.

Finally, Alex’s thumb presses into the tip and Kara’s hips jerk upward. Alex’s lips crush against hers, muffling her cries as her orgasm hits, cum spurting from her cock and filling Alex’s fist. Alex breaks the kiss to watch Kara with rapt eyes, loosening her grip as her cock softens.

“Twenty minutes,” Alex whispers, wiping her hand carelessly on the rumpled comforter, “and you can fuck me again.”

Kara grins and tucks Alex’s head against her neck, giddy with anticipation.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex awakes the next morning a wreck. Thighs quivering, an ache between her legs. Finger shaped bruises woven into her skin, exhaustion sitting heavy in her limbs. A groan escapes her as she pushes up on a shaky arm only to fall forward. A wayward path. Alex reaches towards the bedside table on shaky limbs to grab at her phone, catching it in a trembling hold. 

She stares at the screen through bleary eyes, noting with a small frown the missed call from J’onn and several texts from Brainy. She maneuvers back into bed, feeling weak.

Briefly, she considers calling in sick. Alex can only imagine the look in Haley’s eyes if she told the truth behind why. 

_ ‘Sorry, can’t come in today. Recovering from being pile drived by an alien with super strength.’ _

She snorts at the thought. There would be no look in Haley’s eyes after they burst from her head entirely. She slides her palm along the bed to grab at her discarded sweater and pull it over her shoulders with a small wince. 

Alex fingers the material tentatively for a moment, her thoughts returning to Kara for the first time since Supergirl had landed on her balcony. She wonders if it’s weird for her to be thinking about her sister when she’s covered in another alpha’s scent and cum. 

If she were here, would Kara be able to tell it was Supergirl who was inside of her last night? 

Alex remembers how Kara kept her distance in the beginning stages of her relationship with Maggie, almost as if she couldn’t bear to be near her. Her sister always did have a sensitive nose, able to pick up on the subtle changes in Alex’s scent in a way that others couldn't. 

Sighing, Alex curls up onto her side once more, pressing the fabric closer to her face. There’s a distinct ache in her chest as she breathes in the remnants of Kara’s scent. She misses her sister. Alex wishes that Kara would just talk to her about whatever issues she’s having because the emotional distance that’s sprung up between them is almost too much to bear at times. 

Alex releases the collar of the sweater as a thread of guilt goes through her. Alex knows she’s not being fair. She genuinely likes Supergirl, yet here she is longing for the comfort of another alpha. And sure, Kara is family so her alpha status shouldn’t matter. The only problem with that is that Alex’s feelings towards Kara have never been just sisterly. 

She closes her eyes, resolved to push those troubling thoughts to the back of her mind for now. She soon starts to drift off to sleep again, eyelids drooping heavily, when the sound of a _ thunk _ from the living room jolts her awake. She peers out to discern the source of the noise and sighs when she catches the comforting mix of red and blue.

Supergirl appears apologetic as she approaches, almost sheepish. _ She looks so much like Kara, _ Alex considers with a wistful smile only for her eyes to widen at the unbridled comparison. Alex shuts down that thought almost as quickly as it comes. She’s not fully conscious; it’s just her mind playing tricks on her, making silly connections where there are none. It’s just because she’s been thinking about Kara a lot recently. Besides, Supergirl and Kara are friends. Kind of similar in appearance, perhaps, but nothing worth dwelling on. 

“Sorry,” Supergirl says quietly, sitting down beside Alex on the bed. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She sets a white paper bag on the nightstand and extends a to-go cup of coffee toward Alex. “I picked up coffee and pastries for you.”

Alex nods and pushes up onto her elbows, sitting up against the headboard with a careful assist from Supergirl before accepting the coffee gratefully. She takes a slow sip and hums her approval. “That’s really good. Thank you.”

“Of course.” A pleased smile stretches across Supergirl’s lips. “I thought you might need some caffeine after…how late we were up last night.” She blushes, her cheeks turning adorably pink.

“You mean this morning,” Alex teases her, smirking. Supergirl’s cheeks go from pink to bright red, the color spreading down her neck. “I don’t remember you blushing like that earlier…”

Supergirl brushes a lock of blonde hair back behind her ear, looking flustered. “I’ve never exactly…done that,” she admits, then quickly clears her throat. “I mean, I-I’ve had sex before, of course, but never quite like _ that_.”

Alex lifts an eyebrow. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. I think,” she muses, taking another sip of her coffee. She’s not sure exactly what ‘like _ that_’ means, but signs point to it being good.

“It was meant as one,” Supergirl assures her earnestly. She looks worried that she’s insulted Alex and, after a moment’s thought, she reaches for the paper bag, plucking out a gooey donut. She offers it to Alex hopefully. “Donut?”

Alex laughs. How can one alien be so incredibly sexy and cute at the same time? “I’d love one. But first…” She crooks her finger at the hero, and after a second of uncertainty, Alex can see the realization of what she wants dawn on that pretty face.

Supergirl leans in close and their lips meet, moving together softly and slowly. Alex’s lips still feel a little kiss-bruised, but the sensation is pleasurable nonetheless. Tingles race down her spine. She hasn’t felt this excited about someone in a while. It’s a really nice feeling. Thoughts of Kara fade into the background of her mind. 

“That’s better,” Alex murmurs when they part, reaching out to snatch her prize from Supergirl’s hand. The donut is covered with some sort of blueberry glaze that melts in her mouth when she takes a bite. “Mmm, _ God_. That’s good.” She moans approvingly, eyes fluttering shut.

When she looks back over at Supergirl, she’s not at all surprised to see a darkened gaze zeroed in on her lips. A smirk plays on the edges of her mouth as she swallows and releases a thoughtful hum. 

“Any plans for tonight?” 

Supergirl blinks a few times, her focus returning to Alex’s face. “Um.” She gives Alex a shy little smile. “Just, you know, superheroing it up.” 

Though it’s subtle, Alex notices Supergirl’s slight wince as soon as the words finish exiting her mouth, almost as if she couldn’t believe what she just said. 

“Sounds…exciting,” Alex remarks dryly, taking another, less enticing bite of her donut. “What about after you’ve finished _ superheroing_?”

Supergirl plays with her fingers a moment before shrugging. “I don’t have any plans,” she quietly admits.

Alex swallows the last bite of her donut with a short nod. She licks the pads of her fingers to clean off residual blueberry glaze before inching towards Supergirl on the bed. 

“You should come over,” she murmurs as she goes to straddle Supergirl’s waist, slipping into the hero’s lap. Supergirl startles at the unexpected movement, but doesn’t hesitate to grab hold of Alex’s hips and pull her closer. 

A small smile plays on Alex’s lips as she slides a palm up along Supergirl’s broad shoulders and behind her neck. “There were a couple of things we didn’t get to try last night.”

“Alex,” Supergirl breathes, blue eyes widening in wonder. Alex’s throat hitches when the hold on her hips tightens and she feels Supergirl’s cock hardening beneath the layers of the suit.

“See, I like that.” Alex chuckles, feeling a little breathless as she rocks forward in Supergirl’s lap, intentionally pressing against the alpha’s length. “I like how hard you get for me. It turns me on feeling how much you want me.”

Shifting restlessly, Supergirl lets out a shaky exhale as she buries her face in Alex’s neck and grazes her teeth along the faint bite marks left from last night. “I—yeah. Me too.” She runs her palm up Alex’s thighs to brush her fingers along heat and slick.

Alex moans lightly at the feeling of Supergirl sliding into her and threads her fingers through blonde locks. She tugs at the ends, wanting Supergirl’s attention on her so she can watch her expression shift into the same keen hunger that had manifested there last night. 

It takes a few seconds, but eventually Supergirl looks back up at her with hazy eyes. The corners of Alex’s lips curl up into a wry smile. “I could tell you wanted me, you know? That first night you came over here.” Alex gently brushes her thumb along a quivering lower lip. “Really thought you were going to put me on my knees.”

“Oh,_ Rao_, Alex.” Supergirl groans as she pulls out of Alex's pussy so she can grip her ass with wet fingers. “I-I thought about it.” Supergirl swallows, blinking a few times. “I wanted to,” she whispers fervently. “If you had let me, I—” Supergirl squeezes Alex’s ass gently as she encourages her to start grinding. “Alex, I—”

“I wish you would’ve stayed,” Alex interrupts as she winds her fingers through blonde hair once more, allowing Supergirl to rock her back and forth. “Wanted to suck your dick so badly.”

Supergirl bares her teeth in a growl then and suddenly Alex finds herself sat beside the alpha on the bed. She bites her lip, watching through a narrowed gaze as Supergirl fumbles with the edges of her suit, tugging the shirt of it up so she can draw her length out from her skirt. 

Alex moans as warm, insistent fingers curl around the back of her head to urge her down.

“Open your mouth,” Supergirl commands in a heated growl, chest rumbling as she grabs the base of her cock to rub the head along Alex's lips. 

Alex purrs, her cheeks flushing as a wave of pheromones wash over her. She parts her lips to slide the swollen head into her mouth, brushing her tongue along the reddened tip before sucking on it gently. 

“Rao, that feels good,” Supergirl murmurs as she weaves her fingers through Alex’s hair and pushes up with her hips, forcing Alex to take her deeper. 

Whimpering, Alex’s lashes flutter when the sensitive head brushes against the back of her throat, making her gag a little. Supergirl’s fingers loosen a fraction, a show of concern, but the hesitation only serves to spur Alex on. 

She sinks to the base impatiently, wanting more than anything to show Supergirl that it’s _ okay. _ That she can handle it. That Supergirl doesn’t need to be careful with her because for the first time in her life she actually _ wants _ to submit. 

“Oh, fuck,” Supergirl murmurs in a low, feverish tone as her hold slips to the back of Alex’s neck and she starts pumping into her mouth eagerly. “Would’ve taken me like this, huh?” 

“Mm, mhm.” Alex nods, swallowing as best she can. She wraps her palm around the base of Supergirl’s cock as she bobs her head, jerking the alpha off in time with the light thrusts of her hips. 

_ Fuck, she’s just so big. _Alex’s heart flutters, loving the way Supergirl's dick pulses every time she gags around the whole of it. She releases pitiful little whines as her hips rock midair, clenching on nothing, aching to be filled. 

As if reading her thoughts, Supergirl reaches behind her to slide nimble fingers along her pussy lips and gently rub her clit. “Yeah, that’s it, Alex. Rao, you’re doing so good for me,” Supergirl whispers encouragingly, squeezing Alex’s ass as she slowly draws her cock in and out of Alex's throat, choking her on it every other thrust before easing out. “You’re so amazing.” Supergirl’s palm rubs along the back of her ass gently. “So perfect. No one else has ever made me feel this way.”

Alex flushes and a shiver of pleasure goes through her at Supergirl’s fervid praise. Her omega practically preens from the attention. She pulls off a moment to swallow and lick at her sore lips all the while pumping her hand faster. “Mmm, I want you inside me again, Supergirl,” Alex whispers, her lashes fluttering as she stares up at Supergirl reverently. 

A hint of red flashes in Supergirl’s eyes and before Alex realizes what’s happening, she finds herself face down in the bed, back bent, hips propped up. _ A proper breeding position. _She whimpers a little at the thought of Supergirl fucking her raw and grasps the covers as a wave of heat flushes through her.

“Fuck me, _ fuck me._” Alex whines, rocking back into where she can feel Supergirl positioned behind her, still wet from her mouth and _ so _hard. She shudders at Supergirl’s responding snarl, her body going limp and liquid. There’s the sound of plastic ripping before Supergirl palms the back of her neck to push her further into the bedding. 

As she feels the tip of Supergirl’s condom covered cock pressing insistently at her entrance, Alex can’t help but think she may want to take the day off after all. 

**X**

Alex manages to fumble out a text message to Brainy and Haley when she gets a free moment to breathe and recover. She explains her absence away with a sudden onset of the flu and buys herself a few uninterrupted days. She sends Kara the same message, tells her she may have to postpone their Saturday. She feels bad for lying to her little sister, but she’s too caught up in what’s happening with Supergirl to dwell in it for long.

An accomplishment in and of itself.

The stamina the hero possesses is appropriately inhuman. Supergirl never seems to tire and is bigger, _ thicker _ than any alpha she’s previously fucked. Alex is consistently aroused enough that the soreness on top of soreness hasn’t really registered yet. But as soon as they take a proper break, she knows she’s going to be in hell.

_ So worth it. _

Supergirl is naked beneath her now, her thick cock pulsing as Alex rubs her pussy against the underside. The hero is clearly growing impatient, though; Alex’s breath hitches as strong hands slide up her sweater along her sides before settling on her hips to pull her forward.

“Eager, huh?” she teases, reaching down to massage Supergirl’s full breasts, her thumbs skimming across perfect pink nipples. She smiles when Supergirl begins to purr, her eyes fluttering shut and her fingers flexing across Alex’s hips. She likes seeing how much Supergirl is enjoying herself, knowing she’s responsible. It keeps her coming back for more over and over again.

After a minute passes, Alex reaches for one of the condoms they’d tossed onto the bed and tears it open, sitting back to roll the protection over Supergirl’s twitching erection. Blue eyes open, dark with desire and watching her intently. Alex smirks, making sure the condom is secure around the base of her lover’s thick cock before she lifts her hips, positioning the head at her entrance.

“Ready?” she asks, purposely prolonging the act. She’s more than ready to sink down and take Supergirl’s cock inside again, but she can’t help teasing her. It gets the alpha all riled up, and Alex has quickly learned she likes getting this particular alpha riled.

“_Alex_,” Supergirl growls, her eyes flashing. Her hands on Alex’s hips tighten and start exerting pressure, pushing her down until the head pops inside, and Alex groans. She has been fucking this gorgeous alien for hours now, save for the time they spent asleep, but she still feels like she’s being stretched open for the first time every time Supergirl nudges her way inside.

“_Fuck_,” she hisses through clenched teeth. She lets Supergirl push her down to the base and a shaky moan of pleasure escapes her when she finally settles down against muscular thighs. Supergirl meets her eyes, her hands gentling against Alex’s bruised skin and moving upward, stroking her sides. She slowly pushes herself up into a sitting position, jostling Alex and making her gasp until she stops, her back against the headboard.

“Are you okay?” Supergirl asks softly, concern written all over her face. “I just— I wanted to be able—”

“I know exactly what you wanted,” Alex murmurs, grabbing Supergirl’s chin to pull herself forward so she can kiss her perfect, pouting mouth. Supergirl grins, cheeks burning a deep red. “I’m fine,” Alex assures her softly. “Now, are you gonna be good and let me fuck you?”

Supergirl’s eyes flash with an edge of heat as her grin shifts into a smirk. She opens her mouth to reply only to falter before she can speak. Supergirl’s mouth falls shut as she goes stock still, tilting her head to the side.

Alex knows that look.

“Not now!” she protests indignantly. She knows it’s selfish, but she can’t believe Supergirl really has to go save the day right now. Her omega is outraged, and she can’t help the whine that escapes her at the very thought of her alpha leaving her.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Supergirl whispers, looking genuinely regretful. A strong hand smooths across Alex’s upper back before grasping her neck. Alex is pulled into a series of soft kisses that she pouts all the way through.

“Alex, I’m sorry,” Supergirl repeats with a sigh. She turns Alex gently onto her back before withdrawing, leaving Alex cold, empty, and disappointed. “I’ll try to come back later, okay? But I need to go.”

Alex nods, tugging the badly dirtied sheets up over her chest. She knows she’s acting childish and silly, but she feels like it’s out of her control. Her logical mind has been overtaken by the more primal part of her.

She watches Supergirl get back into her suit, snapping everything back together with super speed. The sight does absolutely nothing to soothe her pouty, desperately horny omega; if anything, she wants to jump Supergirl all over again.

“You better come back,” Alex huffs. “And be careful.”

“Yes, Director, I promise,” Supergirl says with a smile. She leans down to kiss Alex again, lingering longer than she probably should. “I’ll see you later.”

“Mmm, yeah. See you later.”

Not a moment later, she’s gone, Alex’s window clicking shut behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bailey: What's up! Been a bit. Kalex hasn't been getting a lot of love lately on the show, unfortunately. Hope y'all enjoy.

**X**

There’s a pileup off the highway next to National City General Hospital. The damage to the dozens of cars there is extensive, but thankfully the injuries to civilians are minimal. By the time Kara is finished evacuating citizens and clearing the road, a full hour has gone by. She considers heading straight to Alex’s apartment when she’s done, but the sound of gunfire draws her attention west. And then a small fire breaks out at the pizza parlor down the road from her place. The series of accidents and assaults that follow serve only to ensure her concentration is fixed elsewhere. 

Kara runs a palm through her hair in annoyance as she drops back down on the rooftop outside of Alex’s apartment. It’s well past noon at this point, nearing early evening. Hours later than when Kara had promised to come back. Sighing, Kara crosses her arms as she considers her options. Maybe she should grab her sister something to eat before heading inside. A peace offering of sorts. 

A smile curls the corner of her lips as she thinks about how disgruntled Alex had been when she had left. While Kara didn’t necessarily enjoy upsetting her sister, it felt good knowing how much Alex had wanted her to stay. It felt good knowing how much Alex wanted _ her_. 

Last night had been perfect. She had sex with the woman she’s been in love with since she was 16. She’s still dizzy from the thought, her mind a haze of pheromones even now. Kara had finally been able to show Alex how much she loves her and make her feel good and safe.

Kara is drawn from her musings at her sister’s groan, the sound like a jackhammer in her ears. She frowns, leveling her gaze to Alex’s apartment complex so she can peer inside. Kara notes with a bit of concern that Alex still appeared to be sleeping despite the late hour. At least Alex had taken the time to replace the sheets before settling back into bed. That had to mean something, right? It’s not as if her sister had been passed out the entire time Kara had been gone. Alex had even changed out of Kara’s sweater and thrown on a pair of shorts and a shirt. She chews on her bottom lip, anxiety gnawing at her. She feels as if she’s missing something. Kara narrows her gaze as she looks Alex over once more. 

She jerks back then, her stomach coiling in disgust as she finally registers that her sister’s skin is awash with yellows and browns and blacks. Bruised beyond measure. Her mouth parts as clarity cuts through the haze of pheromones and she sees the full extent of damage she had left on Alex’s body.

Kara’s knees buckle and she feels faint at the sight of finger shaped marks, the indentations of her teeth, the weight of her frame along Alex’s. Bruises that vary in shape and size splattered across pale hips, thighs, and stomach. Alex’s chest and neck, covered in hickeys. Honestly, it’s a miracle there are no real bite marks. Kara’s still not quite sure how she had possessed enough restraint not to mark her sister fully given how truly out of it she had to have been to bruise Alex in such a way. 

Guilt mixes with a deep feeling of self-loathing, settling heavily in the pit of her stomach. If anyone else had left even _ one _ of these bruises on Alex, she would have been furious. If undeterred, she might have even taken some sort of subtle action against them. But the only person to punish here is herself.

_ I’m responsible for this. I hurt her. _

Kara swallows, her throat thick with shame. All the fear, all that regret — it comes crashing back into her. She hadn’t noticed how bad it was before. How could she have not noticed? Had she really been so suffused in Alex’s warmth that she blatantly disregarded the bruises she had left on her sister? They hadn’t been that bad when she had left in the morning.

Her gaze shifts down as she turns, stomach roiling. Rao, she had screwed up so badly. She never should have come over last night. She should’ve stayed away. Kara had known nothing good would come from pursuing this, but she had been weak. She had let years of wanting and the intoxication of omega pheromones break her will.

Worse still, she had taken advantage of her sister and now faced with the physical consequences of her actions…

Kara squeezes her eyes shut. No more. Alex won’t like it, but eventually her sister will understand that this was for the best. Maybe this was the wake up call she needed. Last night had been like living out a dream, indulging in a fantasy that only ever had one end in sight.

She’s faced with the same lesson, time and time again. ‘Supergirl’ doesn’t get to have a normal life. She isn’t _ human. _And what has a human heart brought her other than pain? 

Loathing pulses through her.

_ If only I hadn’t given in, if only I had been stronger. _She rubs her eyes irritably, hating herself a little more with each passing second. 

Another soft groan catches her attention, and she looks down into the apartment again. Kara worries her bottom lip with her teeth as Alex begins to wake and feel the extent of her injuries. The way her sister flinches, hissing everytime she shifts makes Kara’s stomach lurch and her eyes burn with tears.

_ Rao_, she’s horrible. But she can’t very well _ leave _ Alex like this, right? Bruised and exhausted and struggling just to get out of bed comfortably. Supergirl can’t come back, but maybe _ Kara _can. It’s selfish, again, wanting to be near Alex when she’s the one that caused her harm, but maybe providing comfort as her oblivious human sister can make up for the damage she’s caused as Supergirl. Even if it’s just a little. 

It’s a flimsy excuse, but Kara latches onto it with an intensity that borders zeal. Her alpha growls and whines, shuffling restlessly against the confines at her mind. Alex needs her. Her omega _ needs _her. Yeah, Alex may not be hers, technically, but it’s hard to fight against impulse that beats as strong as her heart. 

It helps that she has a pretense to visit under. When they’d spared a few minutes to catch their breath earlier, Alex had texted Kara that she had to cancel because she had come down with the flu. A lie that would’ve worked if Kara had been anyone else. And sure, maybe she had felt a little bitter at the realization that her sister would once again choose sex over spending time with her, but really, who is she to judge after everything she’s done? 

Now, all she needs is a shower with the subtle scent modifiers that Alex had made for her years ago, a quick change of clothes, and a container of that chicken soup from the little deli Alex loves near Kara’s loft.

With her plan now set, she shoots off into the sky again.

**X**

Alex sits against her headboard, covers bunched between her thighs. She swipes a finger along her screen every few minutes as she reads through various headlines and news articles surrounding incidents that have occurred throughout the day. She doesn’t really want to acknowledge to herself what she’s doing, but there’s no getting around it. She’s spent the last 20 minutes searching for a palatable reason to explain away Supergirl’s ongoing absence.

Her stomach twists uncomfortably as it becomes increasingly clear that her initial cynicism may not have been unwarranted. Hours have passed without any indication of Supergirl’s return and Alex finds herself growing more annoyed with each passing of the hand of the clock. 

Perhaps it had been silly of her to expect Supergirl to want more than the other alphas she had slept with. She had said they could keep it casual, after all. Isn’t this more her speed anyway? 

In the months between Sam leaving and Supergirl expressing interest in her, Alex had been quite the serial dater. Casual affairs that left little to the imagination. Though she had never let any of them come up. Had never invited them into her home, her bed. An alleyway here, a hotel there. Sometimes in the back of a club. Always at her own urging. 

Unfortunately the series of one-night stands had only served to leave her feeling cold. She had hoped to curtail that for a bit, maybe create something steady with the Girl of Steel. Supergirl hadn’t seemed the ‘hit it and quit it’ type, but this wouldn’t be the first time her instincts have steered her wrong. 

Sighing, Alex tosses her phone to the corner of the bed before slipping back under the covers. She turns onto her side and winces from the slight ache and pull of her muscles. She’s careful not to put any pressure on the various bruises marring her skin. 

Honestly, she’s _ exhausted, _but the fact of the matter is that she had been more than willing to keep going earlier and it seemed Supergirl had been on the same page as her. Which was new. She’s never been with an alpha who could recover from an orgasm so quickly. Benefits of Kryptonian genes, most likely.

It had been good too. Supergirl had fucked her well past her limits, all with a prowess and humility most alphas lacked. Alex had learned early on that the more arrogant the alpha, the more likely they were to suck in bed. A few disastrous encounters in college only cemented that idea in her brain which was why she had opted to only date betas and omegas up until the point she had met Maggie. 

Maggie had been the first one to show her that sex could be pleasureable with an alpha, that they weren’t all just selfish knotheads only concerned with getting their dicks wet. Then Supergirl came along and blew through those expectations and then some. 

_ If only the sex hadn’t been so good, _Alex thinks with a rueful smile, her eyes fluttering a tad. Images of the previous night and earlier in the day flash beneath her lids. Power lay beneath her fingertips, eager and willing. Open to direction, but strong enough to compel her to submit.

Her mind wanders to the day she first presented. The markings of a tragedy. Opportunities halved, any possible respect denied until she proved worthy. All plans of future success laid to waste, now revolving around a designation she could not change. And though her mother had never said so openly, disappointment had mired blue eyes. An innate discomfort around the fact that _ Alex Danvers _ and _ omega _were forever intertwined.

The drive to succeed has always been an intrinsic part of her, but suddenly the reasoning behind it was netted by indignation and pride. A refusal to yield to her nature. Even Maggie could not persuade her to submit. A silent point of contention until it wasn’t and by that time, their relationship had already been on the way out. That’s not to mention the underlying jealousy Maggie had felt towards the other alpha in her life.

Oddly, the thought of Kara returns Supergirl to the forefront of her mind. She thinks of pretty smiles and threads of concern. The potent calls for submission. A compulsory truce drawn between Alex and her omega in the face of Supergirl’s will. The way she spread her legs, needy and wanting, her body a ragdoll in Supergirl’s unyielding hold. Alex inhales a shaky breath as arousal stirs in her stomach. To give herself over to someone so completely had been freeing. 

Despite everything, Alex can’t find it in her to regret sleeping with Supergirl. Not when something inside of her has awoken.

Alex lifts her head a little to look over at her door when she hears a faint tapping on the wood panels. She chews on her bottom lip as she tries to figure out who would be knocking at her door at this time. She doesn’t normally get any unexpected visitors. Her neighbors know she likes to keep to herself and treat her accordingly. Alex releases a tiny sigh as she considers just ignoring it, only for the person to knock once more. 

Huffing, Alex starts to draw herself up slowly. She hisses at the strain to her muscles as she scoots towards the edge of the bed to plant her feet on the floor. Alex sways before righting herself, her stomach curling in nausea even as exhaustion claws its way through.

She takes in a shaky breath before carefully making her way over to the front door. Alex grabs one of her discarded hoodies hanging up on the coat rack and anxiously pulls it over her shoulders. She figures whoever it is won’t be staying long, so she doesn’t bother to cover her legs. 

“Yeah?” she calls out warily, unable to quite restrain the sting of annoyance in her voice as she cracks the door open. Alex straightens from her unintentional slump as she takes in the dark blues of her favorite person. 

“Kara,” Alex breathes, her brows furrowing as she stares up at her baby sister in confusion. 

“Hey, Lexie,” Kara says as she nudges her way through the slit in the door, forcing Alex to step back so she has room to get by. “I know you said you couldn’t hang out today, but I know how you get when you’re sick. I was worried you’d forget to eat, so I brought you something. Just in case.” Kara ends the sentence with a tentative smile and it’s then Alex notices the brown paper bags from her favorite deli. 

Guilt and shame tighten Alex’s frame as her lie from earlier slaps her in the face. “You didn’t have to do that,” Alex mumbles, rubbing at the back of her neck as she shuts the door behind Kara. “I’m perfectly capable of feeding myself.”

“And did you?” 

Alex’s face warms at her sister’s knowing smile and she huffs in lieu of an answer. Knowing she can’t escape the inevitable, Alex finally responds with a sour, “I plead the fifth.”

“Ah, you know your police jargon doesn’t work in Danvers Family Court, Director,” Kara cheekily replies as she walks over to the counter to set the food down. Alex frowns at the sound of her title coming from her sister’s lips. It feels wrong somehow. Off. Her head throbs then, as if to remind her of a memory of a memory, only to come up short. 

Alex takes in a steadying breath as she leans back against the door, turning her gaze to Kara’s uneasily. “I’ll be sure to check with my lawyer on that one.” 

A thread of self consciousness goes through her when cautious blue eyes trail over her form. She has to keep herself from tugging at the bottom of her hoodie as they pause on the exposed skin of her legs before shifting away. 

“I’ll allow it,” Kara says with a small chuckle, voice uncharacteristically grim. An awkward silence springs up between them as Kara starts unpacking the food onto the table. Alex tugs at the string of her hoodie as she pulls up the collar, embarrassed at the hickeys and bruises she knows Kara’s had to have noticed at this point. 

Alex can’t help the tiny whimper of pain that hitches her throat when she pushes up and away from the door. Her eyes flutter open, though she’s not sure when she closed them, when a warm hand hesitantly settles on the small of her back. 

“You’re hurt.” It’s clear it’s not a question by the way Kara stares down at her intently, head tilted in the way it always does when Kara is left to work out a puzzle. Alex swallows, her fingers curling in the sleeve of Kara’s jacket as she places her palm against it. Whether it’s to push Kara away or draw her closer, Alex doesn’t know. 

“It’s nothing,” Alex whispers, her tone flippant. Her nose wrinkles at the way Kara’s touch causes an uncomfortable swell of heat to rise in the pit of her stomach. “I’m fine. Just a run in with an alien.” Alex laughs a little to herself, caught between discomfort and amusement at the fact that she has to try to explain away the bruises Supergirl left on her as nothing more than hazards of the job. 

A sigh falls from her mouth as bitterness surges through her and she finds herself leaning forward into Kara’s sturdy frame. At least she can rely on Kara to be here for her. Her omega doesn’t seem to mind either way, purring in contentment from Kara’s alpha much the same way it does with Supergirl’s. Alex isn’t entirely sure how she should feel about that. 

“I love you.” It slips out without meaning to, and the hand on the small of her back grows taut only to ease as Kara draws her into a comforting hug. She nuzzles her nose against the exposed skin of Kara’s neck and sinks into her warmth. 

“You really must be sick.” Kara points out in a faint murmur, her arms tentatively winding around Alex’s waist. “You’re all cuddly.”

“Mm, yeah. I’m tired.” Alex’s eyes flutter shut as Kara starts rubbing her back with one hand while playing with the hair at the nape of her neck with the other. She hadn’t realized just how unsettled she was by Supergirl’s absence until now. It still hurts, knowing Supergirl had fully taken her up on the casual nature of her offer, but with Kara’s arms around her, she finds the ache isn’t so bad. All things considered. 

Her eyes blink open when Kara’s hold adjusts and a surprisingly sturdy arm slips beneath her legs. As Kara hoists her up bridal style, Alex’s arms flail before closing in around Kara’s neck. 

“Whoa.” Alex releases a breathy chuckle as she draws herself up, heart rate spiking. When it’s clear that Kara won’t drop her, she loosens her hold enough to glance over at her sister in amusement. “Where’d you get these muscles from, huh?” she asks with a teasing smile, running her fingers along the flex of Kara’s arm. 

A hint of a flush works its way up Kara’s cheeks as she starts to walk them over to Alex’s bed. “I, uh, work out?” It’s more of a question than anything and Alex can’t stop herself from snorting at how blatantly obvious the lie is. 

“Spin class and pilates with Lena don’t count as workouts, Kar.” Alex pokes Kara’s cheek. 

Kara sniffs. “Tell that to these _ guns_,” she says, gently squeezing Alex in her arms. 

Alex lets out a genuine laugh at that. “Touché, you dork.” 

“My dorkiness is my most charming quality.” 

“It’s something alright.”

When Kara goes to set her down on the bed, Alex reaches up to grip the top of Kara’s jacket and tug. “Stay?” she asks in an uncharacteristically shy voice, her stomach twisting at the idea of Kara leaving her right now. Blue eyes widen behind thick frames before something soft and adoring enters them. 

“Always,” Kara promises and Alex’s heart flutters when a gentle kiss is pressed to her temple. Kara deposits her on the bed then, knees digging into the bedding beneath them as she leans over Alex’s still form. “Let me just get your food, okay? I’ll be right back,” Kara murmurs, her brows furrowing as she considers Alex for a long moment before turning away.

Alex bunches the covers up and over her legs as she watches Kara remove her jacket and toss it over the back of a chair. She lowers her gaze after a second, chewing on her bottom lip, She wonders if she’s being too needy. So much of her life she’s had to be the strong one. It’s still difficult to let go of that instinct, even with Kara, who she knows without a doubt that she’s safe with. 

Right now she feels raw, stripped open, spread apart. Changed. 

It’s frightening, in a way, how much she’s come to crave that sense of fulfillment Supergirl had given her. Hours spent allowing someone inside her only for them to leave her with this acute feeling of emptiness. She’d be embarrassed if she had the energy to be. As it stands right now, the only thing she feels is drained. 

Warm fingers brush along her cheek then, and Alex looks up to find Kara gazing at her intently, bowl of soup held loosely in her other hand. 

Alex flinches as another throb of want goes through her at the adoration she can see so clearly in Kara’s eyes. She shifts to draw her knees up to her chest, effectively putting space between them. Alex is dismayed at the fact that her body can’t seem to tell the difference between Kara and Supergirl and mentally berates herself for behaving like any other omega with a viable alpha around. Especially considering Kara is _ not _viable. Never has been, never will be. 

She takes in a shaky breath as she tries to calm her racing heart. 

“I hope you don’t think I’m going to let you _ actually _ feed me.” Alex narrows her eyes at Kara in faux annoyance, attempting to push through the tension stifling her form. She holds her hands out expectantly.

Kara chuckles, smiling lightly. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Alex. Scout’s honor.” She raises three fingers before handing the bowl over to Alex. 

Alex hums, looking down to balance her food on her lap. She glances back up at Kara and smiles at her softly. “C’mere, baby sister,” she murmurs, patting the space next to her encouragingly. “Tell me what you’ve been up to the last few weeks.” 

An unreadable emotion passes over Kara’s face as she stares at Alex for half a second too long before heaving an exaggerated sigh. She crawls into bed next to Alex with a huff. “You know I’m only a year younger than you, right?” Kara mumbles as she settles in, knocking her shoulder against Alex’s carefully so that the soup doesn’t spill. “And I’m taller,” she adds with a coy smile. 

Alex rolls her eyes at that. “Barely. Also, you don’t seem to mind playing up the ‘little sister’ role when you’re begging me for food or attention." She wags the spoon at Kara playfully. “Would you prefer ‘little puppy’ instead?” Alex asks, gathering a spoonful of soup to hold it up to Kara’s mouth. “Both monikers are pretty apt.”

“Well, aren’t you the funny one.” Kara clicks her tongue, but accepts the spoonful promptly. She swallows and brings her thumb up to catch the excess liquid, drawing her thumb into her mouth. “Comedy genius, I tell ya. You missed your true calling.” 

Affection dampens the spread of heat at familiar teasing. This is exactly what she needed right now. Something normal. “I’ll be sure to let J’onn know I’m leaving his legacy behind in order to pursue a career as a comedian,” Alex chuckles. “What’s up with you, anyway? You’re extra surly today.”

“Surly?” Kara frowns over at her then, nose wrinkling indignantly. “All I’m saying is that I’m not a little kid anymore, Alex,” she firmly states, tone taking on an edge of conviction that Alex is not used to hearing from her sister. “I can take care of you now.”

Maybe not so normal then. 

“Oh-kay,” Alex drawls, brow ticking up in bewilderment. “Where is this coming from, Kara?” she warily asks, confused as to what the issue is. 

A conflicted expression crosses Kara’s face as she lowers her eyes. “I just— You do so much for me, Alex,” she rushes out, shifting in obvious discomfort in the bed. "And I love you for it.” She looks up at Alex again. “I _ love _you,” she whispers intently, warmth darkening her gaze. “I just want you to know that you can rely on me too." 

Alex frowns, staring over at her sister contemplatively. Her head starts to throb, but she fights back against the ache and keeps her focus fixed on Kara’s face. She’s trying to understand where Kara is coming from, but she feels as if she’s missing some vital piece of information.

“I do rely on you, Kara,” Alex finally settles on, placing her bowl down on the desk beside her so she can scoot closer to Kara. “You’re my favorite person, you know that? My best friend.” She squeezes her sister’s arm supportively. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kara twines her fingers together as she fidgets and bites her lip. “I could be better,” she whispers and there’s such an undertone of _ something _in her voice that Alex doesn’t even know where to begin to unpack it.

“You don’t have to be anything more than what you are, Kar.” Alex leans against her sister’s side as she wraps a palm around Kara’s arm. “Just be here with me. Right now, that’s all I need.”

There’s a drawn out pause as Alex gently runs her fingers along the curve of Kara’s bicep, nudging her nose against her sister’s shoulder carefully. “Did something happen—”

“No, no.” Kara’s voice trembles. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired.” She pushes up her glasses before slowly pulling away from Alex so she can lie down. She grabs one of Alex’s pillows and hugs it to her chest. “You should eat, Lexie.” 

The sight of Kara curling up into the bedding reminds Alex of how Kara used to curl up next to her when they were growing up after one of Kara’s nightmares. She thinks of pushing, but finds herself hesitating instead. 

While she doesn’t understand what’s going on with her sister, the shift in focus is a welcome reprieve from the throb of pain along her body and the ache in her chest. 

Worrying about Kara, doing whatever she can to make sure her sister is okay? Now that’s something she can do.

“Hold on.” Alex quickly finishes off the rest of her soup and sets the empty bowl onto the small desk when she’s finished. 

She slips under the covers then, maneuvering closer so she can wrap her sister up in a tight hug. “We don’t have to talk,” Alex whispers tenderly as she brushes her fingers through Kara’s hair. “We can just hang out, yeah? Maybe watch a movie later?” It takes a moment, but eventually Kara nods against her chest. She releases the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding as she tightens her arms around Kara.

Whatever is bothering her sister, all Alex can hope for now is that her presence will be enough to chase away the monsters plaguing Kara in the night. 

**X**

It’s late by the time Kara leaves. She fully intends on heading home to wallow in her misery, but finds herself wandering the streets instead. It had been foolish of her to think that comforting Alex as just Kara would actually help ease the guilt caused from her mistake.

No, not a mistake. She has to stop calling it that. A mistake would imply a lack of agency, something beyond her control. Unintentional, excusable. Not her fault. But that’s _ not _ what happened. She _ chose _to sleep with Alex, to keep sleeping with her, to take her sister in anyway that Alex would let her and now she has to deal with the consequences of her actions.

There’s no nuance to this situation. She had taken advantage of the person she loves most in the world. Plain and simple.

Kara could barely stomach being in that apartment, lying beside her sister in the same bed they’d fucked in for hours, knowing she was the cause of all the pain Alex had been feeling. It had been difficult to ignore the way Alex had shifted and winced as they moved to the couch after, but she had tried. If only to keep up the pretense of ignorance. 

The faint whimpers Alex had released halfway through the movie had been the final straw for Kara, enough to get her to stop pretending and to coax Alex into getting some rest. The fact that her sister hadn’t even put up a fight only served to fuel her grief. She’s trapped reflecting on a self loathing that refuses to abate. 

Caught in a daze, Kara finds herself at Lena’s building without really realizing it. Instead of landing on her balcony in all her Supergirl regalia, she goes through the lobby, exchanging tired pleasantries with the night doorman before she’s buzzed up to the penthouse.

Lena is waiting for her at the door, worry written all over her face. Kara strides toward her, enveloping her best friend up into her arms, and Lena sighs, clinging to her neck and hugging her as hard as she can. 

Neither of them speak for a while, but there’s no need. Lena is just there for her, without question, without a need for justification. Kara is so glad for that. She doesn’t think she can begin to explain herself, not even to Lena.

Eventually, she pulls away and Lena reaches for her hand, staring up at her in concern. “Do you want to come in?”

A brief smile flickers across Kara’s lips and she nods. “Please.”


	8. Chapter 8

Kara wakes to the smell of fresh-brewed coffee. She blinks a few times, rubbing at her eyes sleepily as she pushes herself upright in Lena’s comfy king-sized bed. Kara yawns before pulling the covers to the side. Dropping her feet to the floor, she leans over to pick her glasses up from the bedside table and slip them on. While the red sun lamps make it so she doesn't _ actually _ need them, she can't help falling into old habits when she’s feeling weak. This isn’t her loft or Alex’s apartment. No matter how much she loves and trusts Lena, there are still times she needs this small piece of her armor.

After pulling her hair back into a messy ponytail, she makes her way toward the smell as she smoothes down the borrowed tank top she’s wearing over her stomach. It rides up just a little on her longer torso, and she’s been unconsciously pulling at it all night. Maybe she should start leaving a couple of changes of clothes here for their overnights. She’s sure Lena wouldn’t mind.

Kara perks up when she spots Lena standing at the kitchen island, pouring out two mugs of coffee. She takes the stool closest to her and cranes up to kiss her cheek.

"Do you realize how awesome you are?” she asks, taking the cup pushed toward her gratefully. “You’re spoiling me with this fancy rich people coffee, you know.”

“Mm, you’ve foiled my evil plan,” Lena remarks with a smirk. She lifts her own mug to her lips, a satisfied sigh leaving her. “And good morning to you too.”

“Morning.” Kara grins goofily and leans her head on Lena’s shoulder. “Thank you for being there for me last night, Lee. Letting me hang out and cry and binge my way through cartons of ice cream. I really needed that.”

“Of course.” Lena’s eyes roll in amusement as she flashes Kara a fond smile. “What are friends for, right?”

“_Best _ friends,” Kara hurries to correct her, her heart swelling with affection for this woman who has done so much for her and her family. 

“Best friends,” Lena agrees softly as she tangles her free hand into Kara’s ponytail and turns to kiss her forehead. Kara’s eyes flutter shut as she takes a shaky breath. She revels at the attention. She’s always been affectionate with the people she loves, perhaps overly so, and Lena is no different.

Quiet slips over them like a veil. Lena grabs her tablet and props it up between them to skim through the morning news. There’s nothing particularly eye-catching or concerning, and Kara’s glad for that. After yesterday, she could use a day of stillness, which isn’t something she often yearns for. It reminds her too much of the deafening silence of her pod, swirling aimlessly around the Phantom Zone for over two decades.

“So,” Lena says at last, “do you want to talk about what made you so upset last night?”

Kara sighs and lifts her head from Lena’s shoulder, propping it against her own open palm instead. She figured this question would come along eventually. Lena knew when not to press, but Kara could hardly fault her for worrying.

“It was nothing, Lee.” Lena eyes her skeptically, and Kara sighs again. “Okay, well, obviously it wasn’t _ nothing_, but…I’m really— I’m not ready to talk about it just yet. So can we just say it was a bad day and leave it at that?”

Lena is quiet for a while, evaluating Kara with shrewd green eyes and pursed lips. Kara understands that what she’s asking for is a lot, especially with their baggage, but she just can’t bring herself to admit what she’s done. Despite how encouraging Lena’s been about the whole situation with Alex, she knows that her best friend wouldn’t approve. And rightfully so.

The guilt and self-loathing must show on her face because suddenly Lena’s expression softens and she nods, reaching out to place her hand on Kara’s wrist.

“Okay,” she says. “Just promise me you’ll tell me when you _ are _ ready,” Lena squeezes her wrist reassuringly. “Otherwise I’ll be worrying endlessly here.”

Kara chuckles and twists her arm out of Lena’s grasp, lifting her hand to press their palms together and lace their fingers. She squeezes just a bit more than her absolute gentlest and nods solemnly, a small smile on her lips.

“I promise.”

“Good.” Lena’s eyes narrow as she considers Kara for a long moment. “You know, it’s fine if you want to keep your issues to yourself for now, but Kara?” Her brows raise pointedly. “Whatever it is you’re going through, avoiding your problems isn’t how you fix them.”

Flinching, Kara’s stomach lurches and she closes in on herself as Lena’s words hit their mark. She knows what Lena is saying is true, but it’s still difficult to hear. It hurts thinking about how much of a mess she’s made of things. While nothing about this situation is fair, she’s still ashamed of herself for hiding away like a coward. So unbefitting to the mantle she takes up. 

Kara wishes there was an easy fix for this. That she could go back to before the mindwipe and things could be normal again. Nothing in life could ever be simple. 

She swallows, her throat thick with anxiety as she nods, slow and steady. “I know, Lena. I know.”

**X**

The next few days pass in a blur. Kara finds her attention honed in on stopping the Elite before they make their next move. She doesn’t have a moment to spare when her time is spent traveling across the world in an attempt to stop the escalation of riots. An impromptu meeting with the president further adds to the conflict. Really? A giant satellite laser in the sky? Kara’s head hurts as she imagines the damage that it could possibly cause. A phantom pain.

It seems that violence only ever begets violence. 

She _ knows _ that compassion isn’t a detriment. Hope isn’t a guise. Her convictions may waver in her personal life, but what _ Supergirl _ stands for cannot falter. Especially not when J’onn needs her now more than ever. Kara sees how Manchester’s betrayal takes its toll on her surrogate father, watches how he struggles to reconcile his wants versus what his morals deem as right. 

All of their power and yet emotions unbound are what’s left to the spiral.

Kara finds herself on Alex’s balcony hours after the Elite slip through her fingers once more. She’s reeling. Seeking out Alex for comfort and advice is a routine she can’t shake. Age old habits sink their teeth into her reasoning. 

No matter how hard she tries, Kara can’t stop herself from wanting this. She can’t find it in her to stay away. It’s like a physical ache pulling at her insides, deep in the marrow of her bones. A pain that only eases when she can draw Alex in her arms again. 

Kara sighs at the thought. If she had known it would be like this— But no. She had known better. She just hadn’t realized how hard it would truly be. 

Perhaps ignorance would have offered a reprieve because now that Kara knows how good Alex feels inside, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to give that up. 

**X**

Alex chews on her bottom lip as she watches Supergirl pace back and forth on her balcony. It’s been almost two days since she’s seen the hero outside of news outlets and she’s at a loss on how to proceed. The time apart has only caused the hurt to fester. It’s like a bitter twist in her chest, a drop in her stomach. Her insides coil.

There’s a distant part of her that marvels at the imperceptible mark Supergirl has left on her. Less visible than the bruises, yet more affecting. She wonders what it is about Supergirl that leaves her so off-kilter. An enchantment left in the wake of Kryptonian wiles, perhaps? She shakes her head free of those troubling thoughts and walks forward. 

Alex lingers near the balcony door, palm hovering over the handle for a moment before she closes her hand around it. She draws it open with a swish. “You know, all that pacing is making me dizzy,” Alex calls out in a dry, even tone as she steps outside, pulling the door shut behind her. “Back so soon?”

The words seem to have an immediate, intended effect. Supergirl goes stock still. Blonde hair cascades over tense shoulders as Supergirl lowers her gaze. “I know that you’re angry,” she starts in a low voice, only to fall silent once more.

Alex’s head lolls to the side as she regards Supergirl with a vacant expression. “I think angry is a bit of an understatement, girl wonder,” she quietly replies, unable to mask the undercurrent of hurt that resides just beneath surface-level facades. 

Though subtle, Alex catches the way Supergirl flinches at the comment. Alex frowns at the movement. _ So she is feeling guilty then. _

Alex straightens before pushing up and off the door. “Look, it’s whatever, Supergirl.” She feigns a small smile. “I’m the one who said no commitments, right?”

She swallows when she’s met with a darkened gaze as Supergirl _ finally _turns to face her.

“It meant something to me,” Supergirl admits in a murmur, blue eyes warm and affecting. “I wasn’t lying when I said I care about you, Alex.”

Alex’s brows raise at that. “No, you just lied about coming back.”

A pained expression crosses Supergirl’s face and, annoyingly, Alex feels a twinge of guilt at the sight. How bothersome. She doesn’t apologize despite the instinct to comfort, annoyed that she can’t even express her discontent without her omega rebelling. Man, what kind of super pheromones do Kryptonian alphas emit?

Or maybe it’s more than that. Maybe the feelings behind it are deeper than Alex had first considered. It’s unnerving either way. 

Mostly, Alex is dying for an explanation of it all, longs to ask Supergirl why she hadn't come back to her like she had promised, why she waited _ two whole days _before reaching out again, but Alex holds her tongue. She swallows the impulse back until the words are lodged in her throat and she can only hope it doesn’t choke her. 

Why does it feel like she always has to prove she’s good enough? 

Maggie had been just and kind, but she had to be convinced. She had to be persuaded. Alex had never been in a long term relationship with an alpha, Maggie reasoned. Alex didn’t actually know what she wanted. 

_ “I don’t want to be an experiment for a cubling, Alex.” _

God, that had hurt like nothing else. Those feelings of inadequacy had lingered to the bitter end of their relationship. Alex is _ tired_. She doesn’t want to have to beg for scraps of affection or attention from someone who clearly doesn’t want her. That should be fine, right? Alex is the one who said casual. But here Supergirl is, claiming she wants more despite her actions proving contrary. 

What a joke. 

Alex glowers as she rights herself, arms crossing along her chest. “I’m going to level with you, Supergirl.” She starts in a whisper, her brows furrowing together unhappily. “When I realized you weren’t coming back, it hurt.” She feels the sharp sting of how much it did, even now.

“Alex, I—” Supergirl starts to move towards her, but Alex holds a finger up for her to stop. Sorrow eclipses a hollow gaze, but Supergirl complies to her request immediately, posture going rigid. Alex’s chest aches at that.

“It _ hurts_,” Alex reiterates, voice cracking unintentionally. 

“Alex, I _ know_.” Supergirl squeezes her eyes shut. “I know I screwed up, okay?” She clenches her fingers as she sniffs, rubbing at her nose irritably. “I never want to hurt you.” 

“If you don’t want to hurt me, Supergirl,” Alex snaps, exasperated, “then _ don’t _hurt me.” Jesus. All this drama over a lack of communication.

Supergirl’s eyes flicker and shift. Pale brows furrow as a contemplative expression pinches Supergirl’s features. After a long moment, she takes and releases a shaky breath. “You know, being with you, Alex… It felt like a dream.” Supergirl bites her lip and places her palms on her hips, her movements stilted and awkward. “I-I’ve wanted you for so long now,” she haltingly admits. “But I was afraid of putting myself out there, of being rejected.” Supergirl gestures outwardly. “Of having to stand here a-and see you look at me the way you are now.” 

“Supergirl…” Alex starts, a warning in her tone. 

Supergirl continues in spite of it. “You mean so much to me, Alex.” Her gaze is steady as she regards Alex solemnly. “But I never would have imagined a world where you’d want me back.”

Alex bites her lip as she tries to stamp down the heavy fluttering in her chest, annoyed at the fact that Supergirl has this effect on her, even now. A small smile lifts the corners of full lips then._ Great. _ Stupid super hearing. Supergirl must have noticed the stutter to her heartbeat. 

“You’ve always been so much braver than me,” Supergirl murmurs sweetly, her expression softening. “My entire life since I’ve landed here on Earth has been about control, but when I’m with you, I feel…consumed.”

There’s a wistful quality to the words and Alex’s throat hitches as that feeling in her chest swells and compounds. “You can’t just ignore me for two days and then come here and try to sweet-talk your way back into my pants.” She blinks a few times to keep the tears at bay, fingers digging into the skin of her arms. “I’m not that easy, Supergirl.” 

Supergirl’s eyes widen as her mouth parts in shock. “I’d _ never _think that of you,” she sputters, sounding affronted by the very idea. “And I wouldn’t—” Her voice wavers and she seems to be at a loss for words. “I didn’t come here for that, Alex.”

“Then what did you come here for?”

Supergirl hesitates. She looks like she has more she wants to say, but she takes a breath instead. She waits a moment before she proceeds to tell her everything that’s happened. From the Elite to Project Claymore to the way J’onn is struggling with his own demons right now.

Alex’s head spins, her mind whirling with the new information. “I mean, aren’t you on your own side?” Alex asks, the words slipping out before she thinks better of it. She’s taken aback by the open hurt that shades Supergirl’s expression. 

“Yes,” Supergirl finally states, her tone hollow. She releases an empty laugh. “Alone.” It’s said tinged with regret, coated in sorrow, dripping red. 

Guilt snares Alex’s throat at the sight of Supergirl closing herself off from her, even if it’s just a little. 

There’s a hitch in Supergirl’s voice as she says. “Sometimes it feels like—”

“Screaming into the void?”

Surprise replaces the hurt and expressive eyes widen. An image of Kara passes through Alex’s mind but only for a moment. Something fond and middling spears her chest, momentarily dampening the ache of abandonment. 

Alex is cautious as she offers Supergirl advice, but in the end, she can only follow Supergirl’s form with a frown as the alpha floats away from the building. She leans on the railing of her balcony after Supergirl goes, considering her options. She wants to be an agent for good and to do her job well, but forces beyond her control attempt to still her hand. There’s nothing to be done. It’s a phrase on repeat. 

There’s nothing she can do. 

The DEO is in shambles, plastered together with dissolvable glue. Rules and regulations give way to facts. Reality is not so kind to those who inhabit it. 

Is she really to stand idly by as the city falls around her? 

She sighs, walking back into her apartment to grab her gun. The pleading in Supergirl’s voice rings in her ears even now. The melancholy that had darkened Kryptonian blues, the instinct to reach out and offer comfort regardless of everything that had transpired days prior. 

This really is shaping up to be more than just sex.

**X**

“Really, you didn’t have to do this.” Alex fidgets in Supergirl’s arms, dulled anxiety tensing her form. Though it’s not a need to escape she’s met with. “I could’ve gotten here just fine.”

Warmth loops through her stomach as Supergirl’s hold on her marginally tightens. She coughs, attempting to distract from the thrum of heat that winds her frame. “I’m fine,” she insists as Supergirl carries her over the threshold of her balcony entrance. “You didn’t have to fly me home.”

Supergirl gives her a soft, wry smile at that. “I wasn’t going to let you drive when you’re hurt, Director,” she responds patiently, a note of affection to her voice. 

Unwarranted and completely unnecessary. The sound of it makes the tightening in Alex’s chest almost unbearable. 

Alex scowls, latching onto the annoyance in an attempt to eclipse the emotion. “I’m not some damsel in distress in need of saving, Supergirl,” Alex snaps, rubbing at her front irritably. God, she wishes her heart would stop aching like this.

“I know that, Alex.” Supergirl is quick to reply, her gaze soft with apology. “You were a total badass, and—and I couldn’t have stopped the satellite without you.” Supergirl is earnest in a way that makes Alex uncomfortable, unused to such genuine displays of gratitude from anyone in her life other than Kara. “I am beyond grateful for your help. You’re amazing.”

Alex flushes, a shiver of pleasure going through her from the praise. She plucks at her suit cuff fitfully. “It’s not that big of a deal,” she mumbles before releasing the sleeve with a sigh. “I just did what I thought was right. It’s not like you actually _ needed _ me there.”

Supergirl looks like she wants to protest, but honestly, Alex is already feeling weird enough without the pointless back and forth. She crosses her arms. “Look, thanks for the lift, but you can just put me down on the couch, okay? I’ll get to my bedroom myself.”

“Oh, uh, okay.” Supergirl’s brows furrow and it becomes clear that putting Alex down is the _ last _ thing she wants to do. Which is ridiculous. Like, really, how did Supergirl expect the rest of this night to pan out? Did she think she’d just drop Alex off and Alex in turn would drop to her knees in order to _ thank _ her for bringing her home? 

Alex’s nose wrinkles as a coil of heat sears in her stomach at the thought of taking Supergirl back in her mouth. That would actually be… But no! She has principles, goddamnit. She won’t let Supergirl fuck her again without a proper explanation on the prolonged absence. 

Supergirl’s presence is just causing her hormones to act up. Plus it had been a hectic night and a release of adrenaline always tended to jump start her libido.

Alex eyes Supergirl thoughtfully as the alpha adjusts her grip and draws Alex even closer before she slowly walks over to the center of the room. Her gaze drifts to the couch.

_ Would it even hold up if we were to...? _

She shakes her head a little to clear the haze from her mind. The fact that she’s even considering having sex with Supergirl again after everything that’s happened the last few days is a bit offputting. 

When Supergirl bends to set her down, Alex breathes out a quiet, “Wait.”

Supergirl immediately halts at her command and looks over at her curiously, blue eyes expressive and searching. Alex swallows, still not used to how easily Supergirl acquiesces to her requests. 

“Put me down here. On my feet.”

A touch of disappointment darkens Supergirl’s gaze, but she wordlessly does as she’s told, settling a palm on Alex’s back to steady her once Alex is standing. 

“Well, if that’s all…” Supergirl smiles, the corners of her mouth lifting just so before she goes to turn. Alex reaches out to grasp her arm and Supergirl softens under the touch, almost instinctively. It reminds Alex of the first time she confronted Supergirl about her terrible attempts at shadowing.

Supergirl frowns. “Alex, what—”

“Sit.” Alex points to her couch and watches as confusion and skepticism play on Supergirl’s face. They hold each other’s eyes for a moment before Supergirl releases a tired sigh and sits before her. 

Alex nods once, pleased. “Now that we got the world-saving out of the way, you want to tell me why you didn't come back like you promised?”

Supergirl immediately pales at the question, drawing in on herself as she starts to fidget on the couch. She's clearly not keen on sharing her reasons for abandoning Alex _ again_, but Alex stands firm.

“Well?” Alex crosses her arms over her chest once more as she waits for an explanation with a cocked brow.

Supergirl grimaces, eyeing her warily, and Alex wonders if the alpha thinks that simply not responding will get Alex to drop the subject. How annoying. If that’s how Supergirl wants to play it then she has no problem sending her away. At least that’s what she tells herself. Alex sighs, tapping her foot. She’s almost to the point of prompting her again when Supergirl finally lets out a huff before throwing her hands up in the air.

“I…I did come back,” Supergirl haltingly admits, so quiet Alex nearly doesn’t hear her. Her stance softens at the words and she steps around the coffee table to seat herself on the edge near Supergirl. Blue eyes lift to meet hers briefly before shifting away, focusing on some nondescript spot off to the right. Even from this angle, though, Alex can see the way Supergirl’s jaw muscles tighten. It’s clearly hard for her to get this out, so Alex says nothing and waits.

“I came back,” Supergirl repeats, wringing her hands together. “You— You were still asleep, but I could hear you. You sounded like you were in pain, so I went to check. When I saw you, I— Your body was _ covered _ in bruises, Alex, and—” She pauses, takes a deep breath, and turns to look at Alex again, this time with tears in her eyes. “ _ I _ did that. I hurt you!” Everything in her posture makes it clear how much she hates herself for that. All that guilt, the shame. They both shine so clearly in Supergirl’s eyes.

Alex frowns as she considers Supergirl’s words. While she can understand where Supergirl was coming from, she had been just as consumed in what they were doing as Supergirl was. The pain hadn’t even registered until after she’d woken up later that afternoon. And now, most of the lingering aches have faded.

“Listen to me.” Alex goes to cover Supergirl’s hand with her own. “Look at me.” 

Supergirl sighs and reluctantly lifts her head again, a few tear tracks sprawling down her cheeks. 

“I’m _ fine_.” Alex emphasizes the words with a hand squeeze only for Supergirl to scoff and wipe at her eyes. 

Supergirl’s gaze narrows as she stares at Alex indignantly. “You look like you’ve been beaten,” she says tightly.

Alex can’t help the scowl that the words invoke and she finds herself responding a bit more harshly than she had first intended to. “Hey, I’m a big girl, okay? I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that.” She’s so tired of people treating her like she has no agency over her own body. “I can handle some bruising from rough sex. _ I’m _ the one who said ‘harder’, Supergirl. I _ told _ you to give it to me, right?”

Supergirl’s face flushes red up to her ears at that and Alex feels a strange sort of smugness at the sight. She opens her mouth to continue, but finds herself faltering at the irritated expression that crosses Supergirl’s face.

“It was more than just _ some _bruising, Alex,” Supergirl counters through gritted teeth, shooting up from her seated position to loom over Alex’s now still form. “This isn’t about me trying to tell you what to do, or how to feel.” Supergirl exhales a harsh breath. “This is about me losing control.”

Alex frowns as she moves to stand, reaching out to Supergirl in an attempt to calm her down. “I get what you’re trying to say, but—”

“Do you really?” Supergirl’s eyes flash a cobalt blue as she steps out of reach. “Do you know what it’s like to be able to crush bone with a flick of a finger?” Supergirl raises her palm and curls her fingers inward. “To tear through flesh as if it were tissue paper?” She holds Alex’s gaze as she speaks, her voice steady despite the biting intent behind her words. “If I move too quickly, apply too much pressure, that’s it, Alex. It’s _ over._” She growls. “I could kill you, and I wouldn’t even notice until it was too late.”

Alex falls silent at that, her mouth forming a muted line as she takes in Supergirl’s trembling frame. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Supergirl this shaken before, not even taking her past rescues into account. Alex inhales a long breath before slowly releasing it through her nose. She feels a slight stirring of guilt as she realizes just how much she’s misread the situation.

Nodding a little, Alex runs a palm back through her hair as she replies with a tired, “Okay.” 

That one word is enough to drain the tension from Supergirl’s shoulders, and Alex watches as blue eyes dim, growing despondent. 

Alex feels her heart constrict at the sudden defeated slouch in Supergirl’s posture. It’s almost as if Supergirl believes that even though she’s explained herself, Alex will still tell her to go. And yeah, Alex may have considered that before, but just the idea of sending Supergirl away now makes her stomach hurt. 

She bites her lip as she takes a step forward. “Hey.” Supergirl eyes her warily, but keeps still as Alex starts to inch her way over. “I hear you, okay?” Alex holds Supergirl’s gaze as she lightly presses against Supergirl’s front. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs, smoothing her palms along the House of El coat of arms. “I shouldn’t have been so dismissive.”

Supergirl’s lashes flutter as she leans into Alex’s touch. “I’m sorry too," she says with a sigh. “For leaving you, for staying away for so long.” Supergirl’s arms wind around Alex’s back to draw her in closer. “I should’ve come back sooner.”

“You should’ve,” Alex agrees lightly. “I’ve had some—” She swallows, faltering a little as embarrassment curls her stomach. “Some not so great thoughts,” Alex finishes sheepishly. 

Supergirl frowns. “Like what?” she questions in a measured tone, carefully splaying her fingers along the small of Alex’s back to hold Alex steady.

Alex’s face warms at Supergirl’s probing gaze, and she shakes her head in lieu of an answer, opting to bury her face in Supergirl’s chest instead. She breathes in heavily when Supergirl’s arms tighten around her just a tad.

“I’m sorry if I made you doubt me," Supergirl mumbles plaintively, dipping her head to nudge her nose against Alex’s jaw. “I was just—”

“Scared,” Alex breathes out, her fingers digging into the fabric of Supergirl’s suit. “And I get that, I really do, but being scared isn’t an excuse to ignore me, okay?”

Supergirl sniffs and nods into her shoulder. “I know.”

“Look at me?”

Alex waits for Supergirl to meet her eyes again, and when she does, Alex reaches over to palm the back of Supergirl’s neck. “It’s okay if you need space to process, but if this is going to work, I need you to at least talk to me when you’re feeling overwhelmed.”

Heat blooms on Supergirl’s face as she chews on her bottom lip. “Okay, Alex,” she whispers before pulling Alex back into a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”

“Mm.” Alex leans up to kiss the underside of Supergirl’s jaw. “We’ll both do better,” Alex murmurs as she starts to pepper kisses down the column of Supergirl’s throat. “We can go slow.”

“Yeah? You’d really be okay with that?” Supergirl loosens her hold so she can look Alex over once more. “’Cause I know you said you weren’t looking for a serious commitment, but—but I want this, Alex. I want you.” Supergirl brings her hands up to cradle Alex’s face. “I just can’t bear the thought of hurting you again.”

“Then we’ll take it slow,” Alex states firmly. “I trust you, Supergirl. I know you’ll take care of me.” She raises her hands to cover Supergirl’s. “So trust me to take care of you too, okay?”

It takes a moment, but eventually Supergirl nods before lowering her forehead to rest on Alex’s.

“Okay.”


	9. Chapter 9

**X**

“Agent Dox.”

Brainy is seated at his desk in the DEO’s situation room when Alex enters. He turns in his chair, raising his eyebrows and pressing his fingers together. “Yes, Director Danvers?”

“I’d like your input on a special project,” Alex says, keeping her request vague for curious ears. She’s yet to see Colonel Haley this morning, but she absolutely doesn’t want one of her agents overhearing just what this _ project _ is and making some innocuous comment to her commanding officer.

The last thing she needs is for Colonel Haley to discover she’s still seeing Supergirl, in any capacity. While Haley has long dropped her crusade to discover Supergirl’s civilian identity, Alex has no doubt she would open it again if she had even the slightest inkling that Alex was hiding something involving the Girl of Steel. 

“Of course, Director.”

Alex locks down her office as soon as they’re inside, restricting access to her own biometrics, shielding the windows, and turning off the microphones and cameras with the press of a button on her belt.

“Okay, Brainy,” she begins, taking a breath and clasping her hands behind her back. “I need your help. It-It’s…about Supergirl.”

Brainy, as usual, looks unfazed. She’s glad for that. “Of course,” he says, gesturing for her to continue. “Proceed.”

Alex hesitates, mulling over the best way to convey what she wants without arousing any suspicion. Brainy is the one person left here that she can still trust, and he certainly doesn’t judge. But this is a delicate subject. 

Taking it slow with Supergirl has proven to be a little more difficult in practice than she expected. She’s enjoyed the time they’ve spent together, of course, and Supergirl’s even started to speak about Krypton here and there. Alex likes what that means, likes knowing that Supergirl is giving her trust without fear it will be used against her.

But the alpha also just _ affects _ Alex.

It’s not really anything specific she does. She’s always a total gentlewomen, especially careful with Alex while the bruises from their last encounter heal. And that’s part of the problem. As much as Alex wants to be good and take things slow for Supergirl’s comfort, her omega is begging for more. She’s completely enthralled with Supergirl and more than anything, she _ wants _ her. She wants to be taken and held down and covered in every mark the alpha can lay on her.

So, she’s spent the past week mulling this over, trying to discern if it’s possible, for one, and feasible to do, if so. She has some experience with yellow sun lamps, but red sun lamps are out of her realm.

“Is there any way we can adapt the sun lamp technology to mimic the effects of the red sun and then have it installed at my place?” she questions in a rush, pushing through to the end before she can talk herself out of it. There’s no excuse in the world to explain the _ why_, but she doesn’t expect Brainy to pry much.

“It’s certainly possible.” Brainy tilts his head, scratching his chin thoughtfully. “I believe Lena—”

“Lena?” Alex interrupts. She goes stock still, her entire form tensing. A surge of jealousy coils tight in the pit of her belly. “Lena Luthor?”

Brainy looks at her quizzically but nods a confirmation. “Yes, of course. Lena Luthor. I do recall her inquiring about the same information a few months prior. I believe she has several red sun lamps installed in her home.” He snaps his fingers. “Ah, perhaps she would be willing to share her schematics.”

Alex nods stiffly, forcing out a breath. There’s no reason for her to be so upset. It isn’t rational. She _ loves _ Lena. Lena is a good friend, Kara’s best friend, and it’s no secret she’s friends with Supergirl, too. But her omega’s hackles are still going up.

_ Why the hell does Lena have red sun lamps? _

“Well, I guess I’ll pay Lena a visit, then.”

**X**

“Ms. Luthor will see you now, Ms. Danvers.”

“Thanks, Jess.” Alex flashes Lena’s assistant a small grin as she walks past her and into Lena’s office.

“Alex, this is a welcome surprise.” Lena smiles at her warmly and gestures for her to take a seat. “I have to say, when Jess told me Ms. Danvers was here, I certainly wasn’t expecting you.”

Alex returns the smile with a brief quirk of her lips. “Sorry, I know I’m not the Danvers you wanted to see.”

“Nonsense,” Lena admonishes her playfully. “You’re as welcome here as Kara. As a matter of fact—” Lena presses the intercom. “Jess, please grant Alex Danvers the same unrestricted access level as her sister.”

_ “Right away, Ms. Luthor.” _

Alex’s brows rise at that. “Unrestricted access? Why, Ms. Luthor, what will the tabloids say if they find out?” she asks with a smirk.

Lena waves away her teasing. “I don’t concern myself with the lies and drivel those vultures write about me, Alex.” Lena shifts in her chair, crossing her legs. “Now, how may I help you today?” 

Haltingly, Alex explains the purpose for her visit. Her cheeks flame, and she averts her eyes, but she gets it out there. And when she returns her gaze to Lena’s, she finds the other omega looking over at her curiously.

“I see.” Lena leans back in her seat. “Are you inquiring about this technology on behalf of the government, Director Danvers?”

Alex’s eyes widen at that. “What? _ No_. I—” She pauses as she considers her words, her chest squeezing in discomfort at Lena's prodding. “Haley doesn’t even know that I’m here.”

Piercing green eyes silently appraise her as Lena taps her fingers along her desk. “I seem to recall the two of you not getting along well after Supergirl was dismissed from the DEO.”

Guilt churns through Alex at the curt reminder of her less than professional behavior towards the Girl of Steel. _ Of course _Supergirl had told Lena about how Alex had treated her. Alex has to wonder what else Lena knows about her relationship with Supergirl and eyes the other omega warily. 

“I know we’ve had our issues in the past,” Alex starts slowly. “But I wouldn’t do anything to put Supergirl in danger.”

Lena hums as a fine brow raises in acknowledgement. They sit in silence for a moment before Lena clicks her tongue. “Forgive me, Alex,” she says with a faint chuckle. “I consider Supergirl a very good friend. I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least _ ask _ before handing over technology that could potentially cause her harm.”

Alex grimaces as a swell of bitterness curls in her throat. “Believe me, Lena,” Alex mumbles, just a hint of spite to her tone. “I am well aware of how close you two are.”

A hint of amusement passes over Lena’s face before it becomes studiously devoid of emotion.

“I can send you a PDF file of the schematics,” Lena says at last, leaning over to type on her keyboard. “I assume you have a secure device outside of DEO jurisdiction?”

Alex winces and rubs the back of her neck. She wouldn’t exactly call her cell phone secure, and her work devices are all run through the DEO’s network.

A ghost of a smile passes over Lena's lips at the clear non answer. “Well, I do have a few extra sun lamps at my place. You can come pick them up, if you’d like,” Lena offers. “Or I can give them to Supergirl to deliver to you?”

“No!” Alex blurts out. Her face gets hot again and she clears her throat. That would be the worst possible way to spoil her plan. “No, I mean, I can come get them myself. When would be best for you?”

“Tonight would be fine.” Cool green eyes narrow on her in a calculating manner. “Eight o’clock?”

“Eight o’clock,” Alex agrees.

**X**

Kara hovers in the air not far from L-Corp and attunes her hearing to Lena’s office. Her best friend’s heartbeat — nearly as familiar to her now as Alex’s — sounds in her ears, steady and distinctively alone. Reassured she won’t be dropping in on anything important, Kara flies off, landing carefully on the balcony outside Lena’s office mere seconds later.

She’s really been doing her best to keep her distance from Lena publicly as Supergirl, per her request. She wants to be understanding of Lena’s concerns, given the Luthor family’s history with aliens and the steep nosedive her own popularity has taken lately. The last thing either of them need is to be associated with one another, honestly. The city is drowning in anti-alien sentiment and terrible street wars keeping Supergirl pretty busy.

But today, for some reason, things have been calm and Kara wants to see her best friend. So, after a quick stop at a little cafe Lena loves, she’s decided to bring her lunch, appearances be damned.

“Lena?”

The balcony door is open, typical for this time of day. Lena gets a good breeze up here in the early afternoon, and Kara has seen her shed her business blazers often at this time of day. Still, she doesn’t enter without explicit permission, never wanting to interfere if Lena is too busy. Thankfully, Lena is rarely ever too busy to see her.

Lena turns in her chair, shaking her head fondly and beckoning Kara in with a wave of her hand. Kara instantly obeys, striding inside and dropping the to-go bag and full cup holder on unoccupied part of Lena’s desk.

“Hi,” she says, smiling when Lena rises to hug her. Kara wraps her up tight, patting her back gently before they part.

“You have to stop doing this,” Lena chastises her mildly, picking up a cup labeled tea and taking a sip. “You’re spoiling me.”

“It’s not spoiling,” Kara counters with a fond smile. “It’s providing sustenance since Rao knows you won’t do it yourself.”

Lena laughs, picking up the bag to bring over to the couch while Kara follows with the drinks. They settle in comfortably and Kara pulls an overstuffed sandwich out for herself. 

“I’m glad to see you,” Lena says after a few bites of the salad Kara had brought her. “Although I’d be just as glad to see Kara Danvers.” She raises an eyebrow, a silent admonishment.

“I’m beginning to think you like Kara Danvers best,” Kara mumbles, her cheeks coloring.

“I like _ all _ of you,” Lena tells her softly, reaching over to squeeze her arm before pulling away. “But you know my concerns right now.”

Kara nods a little then, shamefaced. “I know, Lee. I’ll be better,” she promises. “I just, well, I actually kind of had a request related to this.” She gestures to the coat of arms on her chest.

Lena gets that look in her eyes she always gets when her curiosity has been piqued. “Oh?”

Kara bites her bottom lip. She isn’t quite sure how to ask this without giving away everything that’s been going on between her and Alex. So far, she’s kept that all to herself, afraid that Lena will voice every argument she’s been having in her own head for why doing this is a bad, dangerous idea — probably the stupidest idea she’s ever had. She doesn’t want to hear that. She’s constantly wrestling with her own guilt, and she doesn’t think she can take anymore right now. Not when she’s finally starting to feel happy again.

But Lena doesn’t put up with her fumbling nervousness for long, laying a hand across her arm to get her attention. “Tell me.”

“I, uh. Well, I-I was hoping you could get me a phone. L-Like a secure phone.”

Lena’s eyebrow hikes up again. “For?”

Kara’s ears burn. “To, uh— For Alex.”

“Alex,” Lena repeats slowly. She gets this strange look in her eyes — slightly suspicious, slightly amused — and Kara rubs at her hot cheek. “I see…” Lena leans back into the couch cushion with a hum. “Supergirl and Alex are getting along, then?”

“Yeah,” Kara says softly. “We kinda…talk and stuff. It’s been nice. A-And I want her to have a way to contact Supergirl, you know? Outside of the watch. It’s not like she knows to call Kara anymore and Colonel Haley took away my DEO comms.”

Lena’s silent for a minute, watching her with those sharp green eyes in that way she does when she knows she’s not getting the whole story. It’s not fair to her to keep it quiet. It feels like regressing, keeping yet another secret for no good reason, but Kara can’t bring herself to admit to this. Not yet.

“I’ll take care of it,” Lena says eventually. “But I’d like something in exchange.”

Kara frowns, her brow creasing with concern. “Of course, Lee,” she says, straightening up. “What do you need? Anything, you know that.”

Lena smiles and quirks her brow. “Don’t look so worried,” she teases, poking the crinkle between Kara’s eyes. “Girls night? I know how busy you’ve been, but it’s been a while.”

Kara smiles sheepishly, guilt pooling in her stomach. While she has been busy (because National City has been, to put it lightly, a total _ mess_), she’s also been spending most of her free time with Alex, as Supergirl. Since agreeing to take things slow, they’ve taken sex out of the equation, but they’ve seen each other every day for the past ten days. She hasn’t really carved out any time for her friends.

“Rao, Lena, I’m sorry. Yes, please, let’s have a girls night.” Kara smiles, shifting closer to Lena and putting her arm around her shoulders. “What about this weekend? Saturday at my place?”

“Perfect,” Lena agrees, already looking pleased at the prospect. “I’ll have a phone ready for you this evening, alright?” She pauses. “Shall I get one for Alex as well?”

Kara’s head tilts as she looks Lena over with a frown. “What makes you think Alex needs one?”

Lena gives Kara a coy little smile. “Just a feeling.”

“Well, I appreciate that, Lee.” Kara beams, giving Lena an affectionate squeeze. “You’re the best friend a superhero could have, you know that?”

“Mm, I’ve heard that a time or two,” Lena chuckles. “But I can’t say I would object to hearing it more often.”

**X**

Alex’s balcony door is already open when Kara lands there later that evening, newly equipped with the phone she requested from Lena and a second for Alex, tucked into the pocket inside her boot. She peers into the apartment curiously; it’s not like Alex to leave the door open, no matter how often Supergirl’s been coming by.

“Alex?” she calls out, stepping tentatively over the threshold. She closes the door and looks around, sagging with relief when she turns to see Alex coming down from the raised bedroom. “There you are. Why was your door open?”

“Because you promised I’d see you tonight,” Alex says, throwing her arms around Kara’s neck as she approaches. Kara’s arms automatically wind around her waist in return. “And you’ve been doing pretty good at keeping your promises lately.”

Kara can’t help but smile, leaning her forehead against Alex’s and pressing a quick kiss against her lips. “That’s not a very wise safety choice, Director Danvers. What if a less-than-friendly alien flew in here instead of me?”

“I’m the director of the DEO, Supergirl. I think I can handle a home-invading alien,” Alex replies dismissively, sliding her hands down Kara’s chest and smiling at her.

“But it’s still not—”

“I’m _ fine_,” Alex cuts her off, digging her fingers into the stretchy material of Kara’s supersuit. “I’m kind of excited, actually. I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Kara asks, intrigued. “What is it?”

“Come with me.” Alex pulls back, taking Kara’s hand and leading her over to the couch. “Sit.” Kara obeys, a little nervous now. She hopes this isn’t another one of those talks, but then, Alex wouldn’t be excited about that, would she?

She inhales sharply, involuntarily, when Alex slips down onto her knees in front of her. The omega smirks at her, but it rapidly becomes clear she’s not planning to do what Kara was expecting, despite the enticing pheromones wafting off her. Kara clears her throat, trying to play off the reaction, and looks at Alex uncertainly.

“Do you trust me?” Alex asks her softly.

“Yes,” Kara says at once. Of course she does. Alex has always been the one person she trusts most in the world, the person she can always count on to have her back. That trust has wavered in the past, but it’s never broken. And now, in a way, a whole new trust has been built between them, with Alex’s Kara-is-Supergirl connection now severed.

Alex smiles, reaching into her back pocket for her phone. Kara watches her curiously as she taps at the screen until a whirring noise catches her attention. She watches as a few panels along the length of Alex’s ceiling slide open to reveal a warm red light.

The strength starts to drain from her body slowly. Her hearing and vision dull down to a normal level, something more akin to how she feels on Argo. She looks down at Alex in awe, fumbling for something to say. This is the absolute last thing she expected to be her surprise.

“Is this okay?” Alex asks, sliding her hands up Kara’s thighs. “I thought it could help with…some of your concerns, maybe. Red sunlight brings your strength down to a more human equivalent, right?”

“I think I’m still a little stronger than your average human, but yeah,” Kara agrees, stroking her hand through Alex’s dark auburn hair.

“Well, that still means you’re going to have to work a lot harder to break me,” Alex points out. She gives Kara’s thighs a squeeze, and Kara bites on her bottom lip, her dick twitching with interest. “I really, _ really _ like you. I love just spending time with you, but I don’t want you to have to be afraid of sex. And this could take some of that fear away.”

Kara’s heart aches. It’s so sweet and so considerate, and maybe there’s a bit of selfish motivation behind it all, but Kara doesn’t care. She can’t deny she’s been struggling to keep to this no sex thing. Seeing the bruises she’d left behind helped curb the impulse, but the way Alex had felt inside, how tightly she’d wrapped around Kara’s cock, it was burned into her mind. She couldn’t stop craving it again.

Sliding her hand down to Alex’s forearms, she gives her a firm tug forward. The difference in her strength levels is definitely noticeable; usually, it takes her no effort to lift Alex into her arms, but now, Alex has to work with her to climb into her lap. But she likes it.

Tilting her head up, Kara smiles and pulls Alex into a kiss, still exceedingly gentle as she grips her omega’s hips. Measuring her strength and exercising caution is so ingrained within her that, even knowing she doesn’t _ have to_, she can’t help it.

“When did you do all this?” Kara asks. “I’ve been with you every night…”

“Brainy helped me. I took the day off,” Alex tells her. “It was a snap after we got the schematics from Lena.”

“Oh! Speaking of…” Kara wriggles beneath Alex just enough to kick off her boot and pull it up onto the couch. She slides her hand inside and comes up with one phone, then the other. Alex looks puzzled, and Kara grins, pressing the device into one of her lover’s hands.

“Lena set these up for us,” Kara explains. “Totally secure and safe to use. Since the watch is really only meant for emergencies, I wanted you to have another way to get a hold of me. The only contacts we have are each other. So, anytime you want to call, you can. To make plans or check in or…just to talk, you know.”

Alex examines the phone for a few moments, turning it over in her hands before swiping her fingers across the screen. She looks so stoic; Kara can’t tell what she’s thinking. This was supposed to be a good surprise. She kind of expected a positive reception, but instead Alex just sets the new phone aside on the couch.

“Alex,” Kara murmurs, squeezing Alex’s sides. Concerned she’s messed up, she attempts to catch the omega’s eyes even as Alex tries to avert her gaze. “What are you thinking?”

Alex scoffs, trying her best to be cavalier, but Kara doesn’t buy it. She knows something is bothering Alex and has a sneaking suspicion on what it is, but she opts to wait her out. Kara raises her brows as she gazes up at Alex intently. 

Eventually Alex lets out a defeated huff. “Are you having sex with Lena?”

“Wait_, what?_” Kara asks incredulously. Okay, maybe she was a little more unprepared for this conversation than she had first considered. She had thought Alex would inquire about her feelings for Lena, but to jump straight to sex… “No, of course not!” Kara shakes her head in a swift denial. “Lena is just a friend.” Her brows furrow as she falls back into the couch cushions. “Why would you even think that?”

“It’s not such a ridiculous question to ask!” Alex frowns and folds her arms over her chest, apparently put off by Kara’s reaction. “She has red sun lamps at her place. She gave me her _ spares_. It’s not a leap to think you might be fucking her, too. And if you are, I’d prefer it if you’d just be honest and tell me—”

“Alex!” Kara interrupts, her hands tightening on Alex’s sides. “I’m not having sex with Lena. I care for her, but it’s not like that. It’s never_ been_ like that. You’re the only one I want, okay?”

Alex seems both surprised to hear that and pleased, her face flushing red. Kara draws her closer again, trying to convey how much she means what she’s saying with a serious look and a firm kiss pressed to her lips. She wishes she could just say _ I love you_, but she doesn’t want to push too far.

“Yeah,” Alex sighs, clearly relieved, and sinks into Kara for another kiss. “Yeah, okay. You promise?”

“Yes,” Kara chuckles, gently stroking the skin above Alex’s hip. “Only you, I promise,” she reiterates as she gives Alex a gentle grin. 

Kara’s stomach flutters as an idea that she’s been considering since high school suddenly pops up into her head. She swallows down her nerves. “I mean, if you want, we could make it…official?” Her head lowers bashfully. “I know you can’t know my identity right now, but maybe eventually, that is, if we were dating…” Kara trails off then, her cheeks flushing under the warmth of Alex’s regard.

Alex slides a palm along the back of Kara’s neck to play with a few strands of hair. “My, my, Supergirl.” A teasing lilt enters Alex’s voice as the worry from earlier slips away completely. Alex seems delighted by her words even. “Asking me to be your girlfriend without taking me out of an actual date yet? That’s bold.” Alex tsks, the corners of her mouth curving into a wide smile. 

“I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,” Kara declares sincerely, a pleasurable ache tightening her chest at the happiness she can hear in Alex’s voice. “Anywhere in the whole world.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Alex hums, sliding her hands forward to trace along Kara’s jaw. “I’d love to be your girlfriend, baby. Right now, though, I’d like to take these red sun lamps for a real test drive. What do you think?”

“I think we can arrange that,” Kara agrees, guiding Alex a little more firmly into her frame.

Alex smiles broadly, gripping Kara’s shoulders and leaning in to kiss her deeply. In an instant, she’s nearly suffocated by omega pheromones, and her alpha happily drowns in them. It’s kind of incredible the way just being near Alex affects her. She feels on the very edge of control, trying her best to rein it in, but now, she doesn’t have to. Now, she can let loose and be free and give in.

Time slows and blurs in ways it never does when she’s living under Sol. Clothes are removed and thrown aside, lips and tongues and hands moving over soft skin, exploring every reachable inch. 

It’s perfect. Everything is perfect. And finally, _finally_, Kara feels as if she’s found a place to belong again. With Alex.

Her home.

**X**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY it's been 18 years since we last posted. hope you guys enjoy!


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